


Heart of Iron

by DustinMcDreamy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Angst, Bad Parent John Winchester, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holidays, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Librarian Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Mild Sexual Content, No Smut, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Sexual Humor, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28671045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustinMcDreamy/pseuds/DustinMcDreamy
Summary: When Dean's Fiancée of three years dumps him right before Thanksgiving, he is forced to move into his brother's house to start his life over again. He's in his late-thirties in a small, desolate town called Angel City known only for its annual Christmas Festival.His situation is bad, and he isn't anticipating anything in this lame town that could possibly make him feel better about anything; until he meets the town's attractive librarian that is.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 79





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So I stopped watching at season 8 and then the tea and drama of the final three episodes reeled me back into the fandom, so some more recent characters may not be here because I don't know them well. Please don't hold it against me!

Dean Winchester had his eyes closed as he sat on a Greyhound bus making a light night trip to the middle of nowhere. His entire life was packed into two suitcases, easily stored in the luggage area under the passenger section. He sighed heavily, wishing he was drunk or wishing he could fall asleep right now. How did his life end up like this?

He had just been dumped by his fiancée, Lisa. Everything was right. He loved his future step-son, Ben. He had been a successful mechanic, and they were bringing in adequate enough money.

There had been a lot of little issues piling up. He never felt adequate around her successful friends. Whenever he stated he was a mechanic, they always looked so unimpressed and distrusting. “I hope you’re not one of the bad mechanics,” they would always say. They always had a story about how they were overcharged or incompetent. Dean loved being a mechanic, and he took pride in his service, but he was only ever looked down on as someone trying to scam privileged upper-middle-class people of their wealth.

There was also the occasional comment when Lisa was trying to push Ben into college. “You need a degree in this world, Ben,” she would say. When Dean tried to defend himself and the trades, she brushed him off and was dismissive. “Yeah, they’re important, but I just don’t want those for Ben.” “What do you mean by that?” “That’s not what I meant, Dean, you always do this.”

The final straw for her was apparently porn on Dean’s tablet. Dean never cheated, and would never, but Lisa apparently thought it was too much. She was also concerned at the amount of bi and gay porn he occasionally watched per the history. Dean being bi hadn’t ever really come up, there wasn’t much reason to. He was monogamous with Lisa and wasn’t trying to suggest three ways to her ever. When she mentioned an attractive male actor, Dean would agree.

Dean wasn’t sure if Lisa actually thought him being bi or the porn was an issue, but their relationship was getting tougher, and this was maybe an easy out; cut it off sooner rather than have it be a messy divorce later.

Still, Dean was hurt. He loved having Ben as a son, he was truly disappointed it was only temporary. He would have gone through hell for that kid. He also would have preferred to make it with with Lisa, because he wasn’t a quitting type, but the decision was out of his hands. Maybe this would be better in the long run of things, but right now it fucking sucked.

The train was on its way to Lawrence, Kansas, where his brother Sam would be picking him up. If returning to his hometown wasn’t bad enough, it was the fact they lived in a smaller town about forty-five minutes away called Angel City. Why Bobby and Sam moved there, he would have no idea.

Bobby was an old family friend that had known their father. He moved out to Angel City with his wife before she passed. The town was small, but it at least had a hospital for the other rural communities that couldn’t make it all the way to Lawrence.

Bobby knew the town law office had an opening, arranged an interview for Sam, and he got the spot. His fiancée at the time interviewed for the hospital and landed a position there too, so they stayed.

They recently got married about two years ago, and it was a beautiful ceremony. It actually inspired Dean to propose to Lisa. Now here he was, back at the start.

The bus finally arrived at the Lawrence station and Dean sluggishly made his way off the bus. One attendant was removing all of the luggage from the under storage, and Dean patiently waited for the herd to clear before grabbing his two suitcases and making his way to reception.

Seeing his tall little-brother did made Dean feel slightly better. He had the best brothers in the world. Even though it had been a few years since he last saw his half-brother, Adam, he was greatly happy to be reunited with Sam.

His brother gave him a tight hug once he was within grasp. “It’s good to see you, Dean,” Sam sympathetically said before letting go.

“I wish it was under better circumstances, though,” Dean replied. “I really appreciate you and Jess putting me up for a bit.”

“That’s what family is for,” Sam replied.

“Are you positive she doesn’t mind?” Dean asked nervously. Being a burden or a bother was one of his largest concerns. He didn’t want to ruin anything by being there. He also didn’t want his brother or his sister-in-law pitying him either.

“Jess loves you, and she is whole heartedly onboard, but she does say she won’t clean up after you.”

Dean chuckled. “I’ll be sure to pull my weight.”

Sam smiled back, humored by Dean’s response. “Let’s get you home,” Sam said as he motioned to the parking lot.

They made their way to Sam’s SUV and Dean threw his suitcases in the back before heading to the passenger seat.

They drove in silence mostly, not bothering with the “how are you’s, how’ve you been” given the situation. Sam knew that Dean likely just wanted some peace and quiet.

They finally got to Sam and Jessica’s house just before one A.M, and they made their way inside. Jessica was still awake in the living room watching TV. When she saw Dean and Sam come through the door, she stood up with a smile and made her way to Dean.

“Welcome home, Dean,” she said sweetly as she approached him for a hug,

“It’s nice to see you, Jess,” Dean replied, kissing her forehead sweetly. “I hope you weren’t staying up late just for me.”

“I’m on evening rotation currently so I’m up this late anyways, but I definitely would have anyways for you,” she stated.

“You’re too kind,” Dean said. “Have I ever told you that you’re out of Sam’s league?”

“Only every time you see her,” Sam groaned.

Jess chuckled at her husband’s frustration. “And I appreciate Dean for saying it. I can’t have you forgetting now can I?”

“See how she treats me, Dean?” He replied with feigned grievance as he leaned in and kissed her, now causing Dean to laugh in return.

“I’ve missed you guys. I….can’t say how much I appreciate this. I hate imposing more than anything,” Dean replied.

“Nonsense,” Jessica replied. “We know you’ll get on your feet soon. Just work and build your savings until you figure out your next move.”

“I’ll see Bobby tomorrow morning, promise,” Dean stated.

“Let’s get you settled,” Sam said with a yawn. “I am not the night owl she is, and we can discuss more tomorrow. You’re a good man, Dean, and a hard worker. We’ll get you on your feet soon enough.”

Dean nodded and let Sam escort him to the guest bedroom where he’d be staying. Dean felt so tired he thought he’d fall unconscious as soon as he hit the mattress. Sam flicked on the light, and let Dean in. With their prestigious jobs, they had a nice sized house, and the room was a good size. He was thankful he wasn’t going to be in some cramped room. Their future children were going to be very fortunate.

“The sheets and everything are fresh and clean. The guest bathroom is down the hall on the right. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, of course, except the Pepperidge Farm cookies. Jess _will_ kill you,” Sam stated.

Dean chucked. “Duly noted.”

“I’ll head to the store tomorrow, so text me if you want anything specific. You can head to town and speak to Bobby. We have a good town bus system,” Sam stated.

“Thank you, Sam,” Dean stated. “I greatly appreciate it.”

“Goodnight,” Sam said as he left, shutting the door behind him. Dean sighed and took in the room. There was a dresser one curio cabinet, and one landscape painting to prevent the room from being bare, but it certainly wasn’t _Dean’s_ room.

He would unpack and put everything away in the morning. For now, he just stood up to strip down to his briefs, shut off the lights, and crawl underneath the covers hoping his self-hatred wouldn’t keep him up all night again.

Dean awoke the next day more well-rested than he had for the past several days. It was the first night since the breakup he went to bed sober, and the first morning he had woken up not hung over.

He put on a robe, grabbed some clean clothes and his travel toiletries, and made his way to the bathroom for a shower. As the hot water cascaded on him, he thought about how this was the first day of his new normal; a house that wasn’t his, a family he third wheeled his way into- it seemed to be a habit of his. Lisa’s house. Lisa and her son. Maybe Dean would never truly have his own place, and if he did, it wouldn’t be as nice. After all, he was just some mechanic with a GED.

He stepped out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed for the day. He made his way into the kitchen where he found a note with his name on it and a key. The note read; “Sorry we forgot to give this to you last night. Welcome home. Love, Jess.”

Dean smiled softly. Jessica was way too nice. This wasn’t his home, it was theirs, and Dean didn’t want to impose on them longer than he needed to, just as he never should have imposed on Lisa and Ben’s lives.

He brewed himself a cup of coffee as he looked up the bus routes and schedules on his phone. He found Bobby’s address buried in some digital notes from years ago and calculated his route. Once the coffee was done, he poured the drink in a travel mug and headed out the door, locking up behind him.

Dean used to enjoy walks throughout the neighborhood. It made him really feel like a part of the community, how foolish he had been. These houses were too large for Dean to afford on his own. Even if he stayed in this town, he’d likely have a small apartment downtown.

Still, it was scenic, and it was peaceful. There were too many noises in his head right now. He would try to enjoy what little he could afford to right now. He arrived at the bus stop and patiently waited for the bus to arrive.

Dean played a game on his phone to distract himself when he noticed someone in his peripheral vision. “Dean Winchester?”

Dean looked up and saw a red-headed woman smiling fondly at him. “Charlie!” He greeted, standing up.

The woman stepped in and gave him a strong hug, which he reciprocated with endearment.

“Twenty years and you have barely changed!” She complemented.

Dean chuckled. “I notice the wrinkles, so I know you’re lying. You look even more beautiful than high school.”

Charlie laughed at that. “Well, it’s not hard to. I was not an attractive nerd.”

“Oh, stop it. I can’t believe you live out here. We’re almost an hour away from Lawrence,” Dean replied.

“Well, after college I got a graphic design job in Kansas City. I got to work from home, and the cost of living here is great, so I figured why not?” Charlie asked. “What about you? I thought I saw you were engaged to a girl back in Denver?”

Dean’s expression faltered and he dropped his head down. Charlie let out an embarrassed groan. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I didn’t know-”

“No, it’s okay,” Dean replied, melancholically as he raised his head back up. “It just happened, it’s fresh. I just arrived at midnight after a ten hour bus ride. I’m crashing at Sam’s for the time being.”

“We’re not Lawrence, but welcome back closer to home,” she stated. “Is Sam well? I see him at the store sometimes, but he was so much younger than us.”

“He and his wife are doing great. He’s a lawyer, she’s a doctor,” Dean stated. They heard the bus noises slowly approach and they turned to it instinctively. “Were you hoping on?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said cheerfully. “Let’s continue catching up!” They hopped on the bus and Dean was surprised there was no fare. “The MacLeod family sort of owns the public transport and they make it free for everyone. Between them and the Novak family, every building in town is owned by one of them.”

“Like MacLeod General Hospital?” Dean asked.

Carlie nodded. “Yeah, both families sort of founded this town and their ancestors apparently were engaged in this battle of grandeur and tried to one-up the other with generosity, but they’ve calmed down now as far as I know. Each wanted to have the city named after them, but due to their generosity to the other towns people, they decided Angel City was more appropriate.”

“Wow,” Dean replied. “And they’re still around?”

“Yeah,” Charlie confirmed. “Actually, the MacLeods still host this big Christmas festival each year. It’s a lot of fun, actually.”

Dean groaned. “I can’t even begin to think about Christmas right now,” Dean stated.

“Right,” Charlie said regretfully. “Well, it’s still a ways away, you’ve got Sam, and you’ve got your high school best friend back again.”

Dean smiled. His years with Charlie were some of the best in his life. They listened to rock music, played board games, D&D. They were always each other’s plus ones. He was bi, she was a lesbian, they were the perfect duo. “It would actually be really nice to have a friend again,” he said, earning a warm smile from Charlie.

“Here, what’s your number?” she asked as she took out her cell phone. They exchanged contact information and she gave him a big hug before hopping off for her stop. He remembered when she lost her family in high school. If she could overcome that, he could overcome some breakup. There was a difference, however. Charlie’s parents didn’t choose to leave her. There was nothing Charlie did wrong. But Dean? People always chose to leave. He simply would never be good enough.

He got off of his stop and looked around Main Street. It looked rustic, much like every other small town in the U.S, but he could see why many would find it to be charming. He made a note over all the different stores and shops Main Street had to offer: a café, a diner, a law office, boutiques, a clothing store, library, a bar; the list went on.

He turned to an adjacent street and only needed to walk a few more blocks before he made it to Bobby’s Auto Repair. The large garage doors were open and he heard the sounds of drilling and tools as he approached, but he made his way into the office instead.

Bobby was manning the desk and he faintly smiled at the sight of Dean as he walked into the door. “There’s my boy,” Bobby gruffed as Dean approached.

“It’s nice to see you Bobby,” Dean reciprocated as he entered. Bobby maneuvered his wheelchair around the desk and moved to Dean, who knelt down slightly to hug him.

“I’m glad to see you back home,” Bobby said. “Sorry to hear about that gal. Finding someone to settle down with ain’t always perfect. Not everyone is as lucky as people like Sam and I.”

“And so it goes. How’s Karen doing?” Dean asked.

“She’s fine. She keeps feeding me organic healthy shit. I’d kill for a cheeseburger at the Roadhouse, but she even has Ellen conspiring against me. I’m being held hostage in a conspiracy to live until a very old age,” Bobby complained.

“Poor you,” Dean teased, smiling at Bobby’s antics. Bobby wasn’t biologically related to him, but he was long-time friend of his father’s, the man was practically his uncle. He was certainly family.

“I was wondering if you’d be able to take me on here at the shop, if you can afford another employee,” Dean stated. “I’m likely going to be here a while so I’m looking for work.”

“Well, I can’t really afford extra help, but with the two bozos I got, I can’t really afford not to either. Good help is so hard to find,” Bobby stated.

“No, if I’m going to be an inconvenience or a liability, forget I ask,” Dean insisted.

“Nonsense,” Bobby said. “I’m not able to monitor those guys all the time, you’ll be an excellent supervisor to them. Plus, you’ll be able to get those cars repaired faster and out faster. Garth and Jack need the assistance before they run me into the ground.”

Dean chuckled. “If you’re absolutely sure.”

“I’m positive. You’re family, Dean. But that reminds me; I had your wedding gift ready for you, you may as well take it now. Follow me,” Bobby insisted.

Bobby grabbed something from a drawer in his desk, but Dean didn’t see what it was. He let Bobby lead the way as they made their way to the back parking lot where more cars were parked.

There was one car with a protective tarp over it and before Dean put it together, Bobby was holding up a key in front of him.

“What? Bobby, no. I can’t take a car!” Dean stated,

“You can take this one, it was already yours. Go on ahead. I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer,” Bobby insisted. “The one with the tarp.”

Dean begrudgingly sighed and took the key out of Bobby’s hand before making his way to the covered car. He grabbed a fistful of the tarp and began to uncover it. When the tarp completely slid off, Dean’s jaw gaped. It was his father’s black Impala, which he hadn’t seen in years.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, you still have it?” Dean asked in awe.

“Sure do,” Bobby confirmed. “We were working on it, tuning it up, getting it back into condition shortly before your father’s condition deteriorated. He always wanted it to stay in the family. Anyways, we got it running again. It’s as close to new as she can be given she’s half a century old. Sam mentioned you were coming by bus, you’ll definitely want a car so you can get to work on time.”

Dean didn’t usually get emotional or sentimental at most things, but this was amazing. He had so many childhood memories with Sam centered around this car. “Thank you, Bobby. This means a lot.”

“Don’t thank me for nothing, it was your father’s car. It was always meant to be yours,” Bobby replied.

“But fixing it must not have been cheap,” Dean countered.

Bobby made some dismissive groan. “Just one of the perks of owning my own shop,” Bobby said. “Besides, she wasn’t much use to anyone not running.”

Dean gave Bobby another hug out of appreciation. “I’ll take the best care of her, promise.”

“I know you will. Anyways, take a few days to recuperate. Come in on Monday, six-thirty. We open at seven. People in this town like to be up and at ‘em and productive as all hell right after sunrise,” Bobby complained. “I’d prefer sleep myself but I had too many people demanding earlier hours from me, and it was the best way to shut them up.”

Dean hummed in amusement, Bobby hadn’t changed a bit. It was nice being reunited. He had really missed Bobby. “So, what’s there to do in town this early?”

Bobby chuckled. “You better get really into TV and Reading, kid. Small town has its perks, but we ain’t very exciting either. Bela’s Diner is great for breakfast, but Roadhouse is where you want to go at night. Why don’t you join me for a pint after five when we close up shop?”

“Sounds good to me,” Dean said.

“Good, I’ll see you then,” Bobby stated. “Go and take this car out for a spin.” Bobby headed back to the shop and Dean unlocked the door to the Impala and sat inside. It definitely needed an air freshener; Dean could only fathom how long it had been since it was properly driven. He rolled the windows down with the crank and started the car. It purred perfectly and Dean drove it out of the lot without an issue.

He made his way over to the diner as recommended and headed inside. The bell on the door chimed when Dean entered, and he glanced around. It was a cute, quaint place. There were only about eight booths and a counter that sat about eight as well.

There was a customer being checked out at the register when he entered. It was a dark haired man in a beige trench coat. Interesting choice, Dean thought. The late autumn air was brisk, but there was no chance of rain or anything.

“Came back and see me soon” the waitress flirted.

“You know I frequent here Mondays and Fridays,” the man replied. His tone was direct and sincere. He must not have picked up on the woman’s flirting, or chosen to ignore it.

“You’re so adorable when you don’t play along. Thank you for the tip,” she relied.

“Thank you,” the man gruffed back. He turned and headed for the door, and Dean was a little surprised at how young and handsome the man looked. Based on the conversation, he was expecting someone older. Dean took a step back to allow some additional space and hold the door open for the gentleman.

The man looked at Dean directly and smiled faintly. “Thank you very much,” he said pleasantly before making his way out. Dean couldn’t help but linger and stare. The man didn’t head to the parking lot, he was commuting to his next location by foot. The clothes he wore under the trench coat were fancy and professional, so he assumed a car would fit the personality.

Dean stepped back in where the waitress at the counter was expecting him. “Good Morning to _you_ ,” she said flirtatiously. “I definitely would have remembered you. Are you passing through or new in town?”

“New,” Dean replied flatly.

“Lucky me,” she said with a smile. “Booth or counter?”

“Counter’s fine,” Dean stated.

The waitress gestured to the counter and grabbed a menu with her free hand. “Choose a seat, any seat. Do you want today’s paper? Two dollars.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Dean replied.

The waitress gave a smirk as she set the menu down in front of Dean. “Nice to meet you, Fine. I’m Meg.”

Dean was all in favor of good customer service, but he just wanted to relax and enjoy some food. “I appreciate the hospitality, Meg, and I know waitresses are expected to give that service with a smile crap, but feel free to relax around me. I’m just here for a meal.”

Meg smirked at Dean’s request. “Whatever you want,” she said with a regular smile. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Dean stated.

She headed to the coffee machine to bring over an almost full pot. “This was just made for the guy who left when you walked in, so don’t worry about the age.” She put a coffee cup in front of Dean and filled it up. “So, what would you like for breakfast?”

“French Toast, fried eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast please,” Dean stated.

“You got it,” Meg said as she wrote everything down on her pad and headed to the back to deliver the memo.

Dean sipped on his coffee and he thought about the attractive man that was leaving. He was sure there’d be nobody in town on Grindr. He quickly shook the thought out of his head, he wasn’t ready to jump into anything yet. He could be single and celibate for a while. There was too much to focus on, plus, it would be highly inconsiderate bringing guys or girls back to Sam and Jessica’s house.

Meg came back to the main dining room and checked on one elderly couple in a booth, the only other patrons in the otherwise desolate diner right now. They must have been ready because she brought them up to the front register to have them cash out.

“Thank you for coming,” she said as they left. She turned to Dean, who was still drinking coffee. “So, what’s your name and where are you from?”

“Do you know every customer?” Dean asked.

“In a small town like this? Yes,” Meg said.

“What about the guy before me? Trench coat?” Dean asked.

Meg had some kind of smirk Dean couldn’t exactly read. “Yes, I know him,” she said vaguely. Dean wouldn’t pry further. It would have been weird.

“I’m Dean Winchester,” Dean introduced.

“Winchester? You related to that lawyer?” She asked.

“Brother,” Dean replied.

“Well, I think you got the better looks. The night waitress, Ruby, will disagree with me, though. She had the biggest hots for him. She didn’t realize he was engaged, though. Good men in this town are impossible to find. Expect her to pounce on you too, although, I think you’re actually Bela’s type,” Meg stated. “The owner.”

“Well, you can tell them both I’m not going to be interested,” Dean stated.

“Fair enough,” Meg stated with another sly smile. She heard a bell ring and she slipped away to the back kitchen and came back a few moments later with a Dean’s plates. “Here you go. I’ll let you eat in peace since nobody else is here. Just give me a shout if you’re done.” She refilled his coffee before she left to go into the back and Dean ate in silence.

He wasn’t sure if he’d get used to something like this; everyone knowing everybody and all about their business. It might get suffocating after a while.

He cleared his plates and shouted for Meg, as instructed. She waltzed back out and saw not a crumb left on the plate. “How was everything?”

“Perfect, thank you,” Dean stated.

Meg hit buttons on the register. “That’ll be ten bucks even,” she said.

Dean gave her a twenty and she gave him a five and five ones back. He handed her the five and thanked her.

“Thank you, Dean. Have you checked out our library yet?” She asked.

Dean gave her a weird look in response. “I’m not a library type of guy.”

Meg gave another curious smile. “I think you should give ours a chance when you can. Hope you have a good rest of your day.”

Dean nodded and made his way out the door and to his car. This was an interesting town for sure, but he definitely couldn’t shake the feelings of resentment and regret. He _wanted_ a life with Lisa and Ben. He didn’t ask for this town. And despite his valiant efforts to putting his best foot forward and move on, he knew it was going to take more work than his family’s car and a good breakfast.

He got into his car and started the course for Sam and Jessica’s house where he’d chill until it was drinking time with Bobby.


	2. The Roadhouse & The Library

Dean spent his afternoon in his room, looking up apartments in the area, Lawrence, and Kansas City. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay in this area forever. Sam left for work while he was out, but he got to say good morning to Jessica when she woke up. She had asked him how he slept and he assured her that he slept well.

When it got to be five o’clock, Dean left the house and made his way to Roadhouse as requested. It was larger than a regular bar, about restaurant-sized, and had an old saloon type of atmosphere to it.

He stepped out of the car and made his way inside the establishment. There was classic rock playing on the speakers, the sound of pool balls smashing into each other and against the green velvet walls, and loud camaraderie from other patrons.

He made his way to a table Bobby was waiting at. He already had a beer in hand and he was looking up at a football game on the TV.

“Dean!” He announced. “How’s the car running?”

“Pretty perfectly,” Dean relied. “You did real good work. Thank you again.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bobby replied before he turned over to the bar. “Ellen! Jo! Come meet Dean!”

Dean scoffed, embarrassed. He hid his face with one of his hands. “Bobby, why you gotta be like this?”

“Because you’re family, and I’ve already told them everything about’cha,” Bobby countered.

A woman approximately Bobby’s age, maybe slightly younger, and a blonde girl around Dean’s age approached their table. “So you’re the infamous Dean Bobby and Sam have told us about,” the older woman said. “It’s nice to finally meet ya. I’m Ellen.” Dean shook her hand and have her a warm smile. “This one here is Jo.”

“We could always have more patrons my age,” Jo stated. “The old truckers all hit on me.”

“I’ll be as mean as you want,” Dean teased, earning a smile from Jo.

“The assholes get thrown out,” Joe warned playfully.

“I’ll toe the line real careful, I promise.”

Ellen smiled. “Luckily I know I don’t need to worry about any family of Bobby’s.”

“Never,” Dean replied. “My momma raised a perfect gentleman. At least she was laying down the groundwork for it had she had more time.”

Ellen just nodded understandingly. “Well there’s a lot of singles in this town that would like to eat you up like a piece of candy.”

Dean chuckled softly at that. “I’m here specifically because I just got out of a long term relationship.”

“That’s too bad,” Ellen stated. “We got a super cute librarian I think you’d like.” She winked at him and smiled, but quickly dropped the subject. “Let me grab you a beer. On the house.”

“The rest will be on my tab after, Ellen,” Bobby stated.

“No, Bobby don’t,” Dean protested.

“You’ll have a chance to return the favor once I have an actual check for you. For now, let’s just celebrate your homecoming,” Bobby said.

Dean sighed as Jo set a beer in front of him. “I don’t like all this attention and special treatment.”

“It’ll pass,” Bobby said.

Dean smirked and took a sip of his beer. They spent most of their time watching the game. They caught up a little bit, but withs mall ton life, Bobby didn’t have a lot of news, and all of Dean’s recent news was now irrelevant news. Dean was happy to be reunited, regardless.

He stopped himself after two beers. He wanted to drive safe, and he wanted to rely less on alcohol. He waved goodbye to Ellen and Jo and made his way back home safely.

He entered the door and Jessica and Sam were relaxing in the living room. “Hey, Dean,” they greeted.

“Are those _caaaarrrr keeeeeeeys_?” Jessica’s higher octave was not convincing. Dean smirked at her ice breaker.

“You two knew?” He asked with a smile.

“Bobby may have mentioned it,” Sam replied with a shyer smile.

“Hope you’re not jealous,” Dean teased.

“I didn’t want the Impala. I’m very content with my station wagon,” Sam replied.

Dean made a disgusted face and an ‘oof’ noise. “I’m glad I have a doctor here because hearing that sentence is almost enough to make a man have a stroke.”

“No dying in the house,” Jessica stated. “I absolutely forbid it.”

“Well in that case, I hope you’re a good doctor,” Dean teased as he gave her a hug from where she was sitting.

“I’m an excellent doctor, thank you,” Jessica replied with a charming confidence. “So, when are you going to start at Bobby’s?”

“Monday,” Dean said as he collapsed on an empty living chair on the opposite side of the couch. “Which means I have a whole weekend with nothing to do nothing.”

“Well, there’s more of the town to see. But you may want to invest in a library card. Jess is a TV hog, especially this time of year. It’ll be non-stop Hallmark movies from here on out.”

“Thanksgiving is next week! And then it’s Christmas! Dean, Christmas in this ton is so cute. There’s a yearly festival in Towne Square, and it’s so magical,” Jessica said. “I’m so glad you’ll be here for it.”

“Hard pass,” Dean said. “It’ll be cold as fuck and I don’t want to third wheel your date night.”

“You won’t have a choice, mister,” Jessica threatened. “You’re going to go. If not for me, and not for the lights and displays, then the unlimited spiced eggnog.”

“Unlimited you say?” Dean asked.

“Un-limited,” she emphasized with an eager, intense expression on her face.

Dean sighed dramatically. “Does she twist your arm like this and boss you around like this?”

“Constantly,” Sam replied in a monotone, defeated expression which made Jessica grin.

“Fine,” Dean replied. “I will accompany you to the festival next month.”

“Yay!” She squealed. “It can’t get here soon enough.”

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled softly. Maybe a little Christmas cheer would do him some good, but he was skeptical. He loved holidays with Ben and Lisa, and he was really hoping this next one wouldn’t be miserable.

Dean woke up on Saturday; his second day in Angel City. It felt odd, waking up consecutively in a room that wasn’t yours. How long would it take for it to feel normal? When he first moved in with Lisa, waking up in her bed everyday was strange. It took a lot of time for him to think of it as _their_ bed. Funny how that was no longer the case now. Just like Lisa’s house, Dean was only here temporarily.

He took a shower, got dressed, and joined Sam for breakfast. Jess was sleeping in since she worked later.

“I’m going to need a hobby,” Dean stated. “On weekends I’d mow the lawn, hang out with Ben, fire up the grill, drink with the neighbors. Now there’s none of that.”

“You’re more than welcome to start mowing the lawn, be my guest,” Sam stated.

“I _am_ the guest. Lawn mowing was never on the table,” Dean replied. “Besides, won’t you be getting snow soon?”

“You’re reading too much into my joke,” Sam griped. “But yes, you should try to find a hobby. I’m almost always doing case work, but when I’m not, I usually do sudoku and crossword puzzles.”

“If I start doing those, just shoot me and put me out of my misery,” Dean stated in response, earning a condescending look from Sam. “Sorry the bedroom doesn’t have a TV in it.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll check out the stupid library or something. I ran into Charlie the other day, so maybe I’ll get to hang with her sometimes,” Dean stated.

“Yeah, I run into her sometimes. That’s good, and you’ll be making new friends in no time,” Sam stated.

“Let’s slow it down, I’ve always been a small circle kinda guy. I’m also not sure if I want to start parading myself to strangers. I don’t want to be telling people my deal. I at least already know Charlie.”

“Well, you don’t have to tell them your relationship history if you don’t want to,” Sam said. “Just say you moved for a new job.”

“Then it feels like I’m skirting around, hiding the truth,” Dean stated. “I’ve done enough of that in my life already.”

Sam smirked, understanding. Dean hadn’t told Sam the truth about liking guys until his late twenties; it was rough for Dean with their demanding old-fashioned father. Dean just wanted to be a good son and always please his father, and being bi didn’t necessarily fit with that.

“Have you considered some self-help books?” Sam asked.

Dean stopped eating his food mid-bite to stop and squint angrily at Sam. He slowly resumed, trying to process if Sam was roasting him or not. “You think I need that type of stuff?” He was a little offended, and his tone reflected it.

“You’ve always burdened yourself with the weight of making dad happy, and now you’ve gone through a pretty rough life change not by your choosing. I can tell you’re not always happy,” Sam explained.

“And some book is supposed to make me happy?” Dean asked defensively.

“It can teach you how to control your thoughts, redirect or distract your attention from the negatives,” Sam stated.

“My thoughts are fine,” Dean retorted.

Sam just sighed silently to himself and decided to drop the subject. “It was just a harmless suggestion. There are a bunch of hobbies you can do, and there’s a gym in town you can go to.”

“I’ll adjust fine,” Dean said as he took another bite of his food. “I’m full.”

Sam grimaced at Dean talking with his mouth full and the other brother took his plate to the trash and scraped off what he didn’t plan on finishing.

“I guess I’ll go check out the rest of town now,” Dean replied back snarkily. “Get some fresh air to cure all my problems!”

Sam shook his head at Dean’s antics, but Dean’s behavior was probably solidifying his suggestion in his mind. Dean threw on his leather jacket and headed out the door.

Dean didn’t have a destination in mind when he started his drive. It was only the morning and he had a whole weekend to waste before he got to start working again.

He kept eyeing the quaint town through the windows of the car, still being mindful of his driving. Would he be here for the rest of his life? Would he leave once he had enough saved up? He knew he didn’t need to answer those questions now, but he felt like he did. But also, what was the point? He thought he knew with Lisa. Despite his best planning, anything could yank the rug from under his feet and knock him down. What was the point?

After a few minutes of driving, he found himself at a familiar building on Main Street that he had noticed the other day. It was probably the largest one on Main Street, aside from a church and town hall further down the road.

He parked in the near-empty parking lot and stepped out of the impala. “Angel City Library” explained the words carved into the marble of the building. Dean huffed. Time to see what the buzz was about.

It was a Saturday, they may not even be open Dean told himself as he walked up to the doors. A few small steps got him closer to the decal on the doors with the hours of operations; they were open.

“Figures,” Dean huffed before opening up the door and making his way inside. Dean was always making fun of Sam for going to the library when they were kids, and now this was the only thing he was supposed to do in this town. He’d definitely need his own TV and his own gaming system; but that would involve a new place, new furniture sets for at least two rooms. Starting over from scratch was surely overwhelming.

The second set of doors rung a small chime to announce Dean’s presence as they revealed the larger expanse of the town library. The walkway led right to an administration desk, and there were individual wings on each side of him. Non-fiction was to the left and fiction was over to the right. Dean had a feeling he’d prefer something in a sci-fi or fantasy realm like his favorite TV shows, far far away from the self-help section Sam would have recommended.

He noticed the admin desk was unoccupied, although he was certain there was probably only one staff member around.

“I’ll be right with you!.” a voice announced from the office room behind the desk.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean replied back as he made his way towards the fiction section.

He walked along the bookshelves and reviewed the categories. ‘Romance Fiction’. Pass. ‘Historical Fiction’. Pass. ‘Murder Mystery’. Maybe.

“Can I help you find anything?” the voice asked again, this time, closer behind Dean. He turned around to look at the man, and recognized him as the attractive man he briefly caught a glimpse of back at the diner yesterday.

Dean let out a nervous smile and a small huff of air. “I take it you’re the librarian here?”

“Yes, that would, in fact, be me,” the man confirmed. Dean thought back to Meg and Ellen’s recommendations. He thought for sure the librarian would be some blonde, busty female with a low-cleavage shirt; not a man buttoned up all the way to the top button, tie, and….trenchcoat.

“You’re not who I was expecting,” Dean replied.

“I hope you’re not disappointed,” the man replied. Dean looked at the piercing blue eyes and the soft, but rugged and masculine frame of the man’s face. He looked like he could be tough and dominating if he chose to, but he has elected to be kind an approachable instead.

“Certainly not,” Dean stated with a smile.

“Well,” the librarian replied hesitantly, which was understandable, Dean had been aloof and weird in his introduction. “I’m Castiel.”

The man extended his hand outward to Dean to greet him. Dean took it and shook his hand, surprised at the man’s form, professional handshake. “Dean Winchester.”

‘Castiel’ cocked his head as they removed their hands from each other. “Relation to Sam Winchester?”

“He’s my brother, you know him?” Dean asked.

“Not well,” Castiel replied. “But he’s been here a few times. Not my most active patron, but from what I understand, he’s a lawyer, so I assume that profession keeps him rather preoccupied. His firm likely already ahs the resources they need, so he has no disposition to frequent here.”

Dean huffed in amusement at the way the other man spoke. He was overtly elegant with his word choice. “You definitely speak like a librarian.” Castiel have him a questioning look, and Dean immediately felt bad about his comment. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I’m sorry. I know I probably look like some d-bag bully but that wasn’t my intent.”

Castiel continued to eye Dean and he watched as he gave the elevator eyes up and down. Usually this meant Dean was being objectified, but he felt that wasn’t the case here. “No, I don’t think that you do.” Dean wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but luckily it appeared Castiel was going to fill the empty silence before Dean could fuck it up further. “I am aware my vernacular can be off-putting. I have always been this way, even as a child. The career of a librarian was probably an effect of my language, but not the cause. However, just as you didn’t want to seem offensive, I hope I am not coming across as pretentious.”

The man looked apologetic and sincere, as well as friendly. Sure, he was different, but so was Dean. He knew what it felt like to stand out, and not for the better. “Not at all,” Dean replied. Castiel smiled slightly, as least, Dean thought Castiel did.

“That is a relief,” Castiel said. Dean didn’t realize he hadn’t responded, he was just taking in Castiel’s face, unsure why. There was something about Castiel that made him feel at ease for the first time since entering town.

“So-” Castiel stated awkwardly, breaking the silence. “Are you looking for anything specific?” 

Dean sheepishly chuckled, visibly embarrassed about being the weird one and getting caught acting strange. “I’ve never been much of a reader,” Dean answered. “But I used to love watching Game of Thrones or Star Trek with my so-”. _Son_. Ben was going to be Dean’s son. He felt like he already was Ben’s dad. He had never cared or thought about being a father, but he wanted to be Ben’s father _so_ much. And now, he just wasn’t anymore. “My ex’s kid,” he clarified, clearing his throat.

Dean was embarrassed at almost being so vulnerable and airing out his dirty laundry in front of a stranger, but Castiel was like a statue; he didn’t react, didn’t wince, he didn’t look at Dean with pitying eyes or pry further. “Let me give you some recommendations.”

Cas pointed his head over to a near aisle and Dean followed the man. Castiel eyed the shelves, stopping himself precisely where he needed. “The children and young adult’s section is in the other corner, so many of this should appeal, although, there would be nothing wrong with some of the content in that section, but you seem like a man of refinement.”

Dean made a bashful noise as he averted his eyes and looked at his feet. “I don’t think I’d say that.”

“Why not?” Castiel asked, which shocked Dean. He looked back up and saw Castiel starting intently at him, torso partially twisted, one hand on the book he was grabbing on a higher shelf, but otherwise Dean had his full attention, which made him feel at unease.

Castiel must have gotten the hint because he started to slowly take the book off the shelf and turn his gaze away to give Dean some breathing room. “This is a unique take on vampires and their origins while replacing them in a futuristic sci-fi setting. I liked the explanations of their socio-economic systems and governmental structure.”

Dean chuckled. “I’ve never focused too much on that’s tuff. I’ve always been more of a blast ‘em and shoot at ‘em guy.”

Castiel grinned at that, although Dean wasn’t sure why. It was painfully obvious Castiel was more refined and Dean was very superficial. “I promise there’s plenty of action at the end, but if you’re really unsure, I can put it pack.”

Dean just smiled and slowly pulled the book out of Castiel’s hands, which made the librarian smile softly. “What else you got for me?”

“How many books are you looking for?” Castiel asked.

Dean eyed the book front and back, judging the size. He could probably use one to two more. “Surprise me.”

“Very well,” Castiel said as he paced a few more steps, eying the shelves. “You ever hear of a banshee?”

Dean racked his head, thinking carefully. “A screaming ghost girl?”

“Pretty much,” Castiel replied as he pulled one of the shelf. “This is about a woman who comes from a matriarch family of banshees. As she comes to terms with her abilities, she begins to suspect a serial killer is close to her.”

That piqued Dean’s interest and he eagerly opened his hand for Castiel to pass him the book. “Do you think you have time for one more?”

There was something about the tone in Castiel’s question that made him seem eager to give Dean a new book. With his curious and attractive expression, who was Dean to say no?

“One more,” Dean agreed cautiously, with a sly smile, as if he was discretely allowing Castiel to get away with something.

Castiel grinned and headed into the next aisle, which was more fantasy-based than the sci-fi aisle. “Pick your poison,” Castiel stated. “Knights? Wizards? Pirates?”

“I went to a Renaissance Fair once,” Dean replied. “I loved it.”

“Okay,” Cas replied, positively amused by Dean’s confession. His eyes glanced over the books, and Dean watched as Cas’s eyes began to glow at the sight of one. His mouth opened in a positive gasp, and Dean felt his heart jump a little. The man was positively gorgeous with that much happiness and excitement. He knew whatever the book was, it was a perfect choice.

But as soon as Cas began to glow, his body shut down. His face fell, his shoulders dropped, and he looked almost disappointed in himself as his index finger hit the wooden shelf instead of pointing to the book anymore.

Dean was confused, what could have possibly ruined his mood so quickly like that? “What is it?”

“Huh?” Castiel asked nervously, as if caught out of a trance. “Oh, just, I saw an old favorite of mine, but it’s probably not something you’d enjoy.”

“Why?” Dean asked. “All your recommendations have been incredibly interesting so far. Surely, whatever you saw had to have been amazing.”

“It’s-” Castiel began stating nervously. “It’s a same-sex romance about two male knights saving the kingdom together. That criteria isn’t for everyone.”

Dean eyed where Cas’s finger was resting. He angled himself a little bit better to see a book titled _Hearts of Iron_. It definitely sounded like a romance between two knights. Dean just reached towards the book, looking back at Castiel’s blue eyes which were looking at him apprehensively. Dean’s hand briefly brushed up against Castiel’s, which was still on the bookshelf, but the librarian didn’t pull away.

Dean removed the book from its space and held it, pointing the cover to Castiel. “This the one?”

Castiel just nodded slowly. “Yup, that’s the one.” He couldn’t look at Dean, which meant Cas couldn’t see Dean’s nervous smile as well. He could take a guess as to why he was recommended this place now. But still, Dean liked to figure things out for himself.

“Shall I check you out?” Castiel asked.

Dean raised an eyebrow at the double meaning, but Castiel looked at him with confusion. He wasn’t aware of what Dean was thinking of, which made the man even more adorable. “Yes, I think I’m ready.”

Castiel nodded and lead the way towards the admin desk. “I’ll need to print you a library card. I’ll need your address and phone number.”

“Asking for my number already?” Dean teased.

Castiel either did not understand the flirtation or elected to disregard it. Maybe Dean had the wrong idea about the guy, or perhaps he just wasn’t wooed by lame pick-up lines. “It’s just standard protocol. We do reserve the right to call if we need a book returned.”

“Right,” Dean replied as he awkwardly cleared his throat. He provided Castiel with his number and Sam’s address and Castiel handed him the books with a professional smile. “Thank you for all your help, Castiel.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” Castiel replied so charmingly that it made Dean re-question whether it was a passion for is job that caused the extreme friendliness or if there was an interest in Dean.

Dean shouldn’t be thinking about romance anyways. He was still getting over Lisa, and this was a temporary location. No point in having someone get attached to him when he was going to leave at some point-it was a strong form of cruelty.

He took the books and made the way back to his car. He sat down in his driver’s seat and set the book s carefully over in the passenger’s. He slowly ran his hand against the hardcover and enjoyed the tactile sensation of the glide.

Dean loved giving people music recommendations. There was a small sense of pride and joy whenever anyone said that they enjoyed the bands and would become a fan. It formed a connection; and now Dean and that person had something in common. Deane specially loved listening to music with Ben. They’d just hang out and chat with the tunes playing. Dean would lay down on the floor while they chatted all night. One or two times Dean even fell asleep on Ben’s floor, and Lisa would say how cute it was to see them bonding like that.

Dean wondered what Castiel’s recommendations meant to him. Was it just an innate part of his job? Did he choose random ones, or were the choices more? Was Castiel looking to make a connection with his customers, Dean specifically, or is he not expecting any at all?

Dean wasn’t sure why he was overthinking any of this to begin with; this didn’t happen when he went to the grocery store and checked out groceries. He’s seen really hot waiters, cashiers, and strangers, but they’ve always left his head immediately after a brief check-out. Why were his thoughts lingering on this nerdy librarian? Castiel was handsome, but not a rugged Hollywood model type. And yet, he has left an impression on Dean.


	3. The Autoshop

Dean spent a good chunk of his Sunday reading the vampire book Castiel recommended. It did a great job of keeping Dean’s interest, he couldn’t seem to put it down until it was time to make his way to Roadhouse to watch the football game. Drinking beer and watching football, it was one of the few things that made him feel normal and happy again.

Charlie and Bobby joined him and they laughed and cheered as they watched together. It made Dean feel like this situation wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

He woke up the next morning, ready to head to work for his first shift at Bobby’s. He put on a jumpsuit that was technically for his previous job, but there was no corporate logo so it shouldn’t be an issue, hopefully. He made his way to the kitchen where he saw Sam already eating breakfast.

“Morning, Dean,” Sam greeted. “You ready for work?”

“Sort of, yeah,” Dean agreed. “There’s few better places to be than under the hood of a car.”

Sam chuckled. He hadn’t learned all the tools of the trade from their father. He was too young when Dean was learning, and once he was older, he was too different than Dean and his father, so they never pushed him to learn, thus Dean’s comment was foreign to him.

“Well I’m glad, Mr. Supervisor,” Sam said with a complimentary tone.

“Stop, this doesn’t really count,” Dean replied. “It’s just two dudes and me.”

“Two dudes and you? Now I see why you’re excited,” Sam teased as he drank his coffee.

“You’re hilarious,” Dean replied, unamused. He knew Sam wasn’t actually being offensive, Sam would never. If anything, they supported Dean because while Dean had mostly only been with women, Sam was the only one who would ever suggest him look for guys too.

Dean microwaved a breakfast sandwich and filled up his travel cap with coffee so he could have breakfast to-go. He also picked up his book again, which Sam definitely noticed. He gave a sly smile and proceeded to eat his own breakfast. Dean wrapped his hot sandwich up in napkins and quickly made his way out the door. “Seeya, Samm!” Dean exclaimed as he dashed.

“Goodbye, Dean!” Sam quickly announced, narrowly making the announcement at the speed Dean left. He was excited to be productive again and get a jump start at work.

The drive was easier than it was during the mornings back in Denver. It seemed much less people were rushing to work. Maybe everyone worked in town and walked or took the bus. Dean could’ve used the bus again, but how could he not drive his new car around?

He arrived at Bobby’s auto shop shortly after Bobby did. Karen was still helping him out of their wheelchair accessible van.

“You’re too early, kid,” Bobby griped.

“No sense in oversleeping,” Dean stated as he headed over. “Good Morning, Karen.”

“Good Morning, Dean,” she said as she greeted him with a hug.

“Thank you, hun,” Bobby said once he was settled, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“Dean, you’ll be coming with Sam and Jessica to the Roadhouse for Thanksgiving, right?” Karen asked.

Nobody had discussed any plans with him yet. “Nobody told me anything yet, but there’s nothing that could keep me away now.”

Karen smiled fondly. “Good. Bring your eating pants.”

“All of my pants are eating pants,” Dean replied with a smile, earning her laugh.

“Well you boys have a good day at work,” Karen stated. “I’ll see you both later.”

“Goodbye, Karen,” Dean farewelled as he followed Bobby inside the office.

“I usually only go over paperwork in the morning. The garage doesn’t get opened up until Garth or Jack get here, but you can get started on that now if you want,” Bobby said as he fished a bundle of keys attached to a lanyard from his desk drawer. “The large metal doors I can’t open and close anymore. Never wanted to invest in an automatic opener when I got two almost capable lads.”

Dean let out a humored hum at that. He was sure these boys would be better than Bobby gave them credit for; or at the very least, he sure hoped.

“We got two cars currently. There’s a board in the garage. One has carburetor issues and the other is brakes. Nothing you three cannot handle,” Bobby stated.

“Easy as pie,” Dean confirmed.

“And I know we haven’t talked about your pay,” Bobby said. “I can scrape together twenty an hour for you if that’s acceptable. You’re definitely worth more and I wish I could give you m-”

“Bobby, that’s more than generous. You’re doing so much for me as is,” Dean stated. Bobby looked relieved, and Dean felt pretty bad about taking this job to begin with. It was a very small place in a very small town, but Bobby seemed like he really needed Dean’s help.

“Getting the cars out of here faster will be great for business,” Bobby said.

Dean wanted to break the tension from the conversation. He knew Bobby felt guilty about not offering more, and he was guilty for accepting so much. “I’ll start opening up.”

He went through the door that lead to the garage and he unlocked the latch blocking the metal doors from going up. He bent down, grabbed a hold of the handle, and raised both himself and his arm to hoist the metal door open. As the outdoors came into view, he saw two cars entering the lot; presumably Jack and Garth.

He went through the opening checklist that was hanging on a clipboard when Jack and Garth slowly approached.

“Good Morning, guys,” Dean greeted, tucking the clipboard under his left arm to greet them with is right. “I’m Dean, nice to meet ya.”

“Nice to meet you, Dean” Garth greeted. “I’m Garth!”

Jack was slightly less warm, but it may have just been overshadowed by Garth’s overly friendly cheer. “Dean?” Jack said to himself, giving him an inquisitive look that Dean wasn’t able to read. “I’m Jack.”

“Well, I’m just here to help speed up the jobs. That way, anything that requires wo people, we’ll have an extra to continue to work on the third car and what not,” Dean stated.

“Bobby already gave us the ‘whatever you say goes’ speech,” Jack stated.

Dean chuckled awkwardly, he definitely did not want to be that type of supervisor. In fact, he was pretty uncomfortable with he idea of leading at all, or being in charge of anyone. “I promise I won’t be like that,” he stated. “If you didn’t know what you were doing, Bobby would have thrown you out by now, so let’s just see how things go. I’d actually appreciate it if you walked me through your morning process and getting started if you don’t mind.”

“You got it, boss!” Garth excitedly volunteered.

Dean was walked through their opening process, and it was fairly standard to his old job. The three of them went straight to work, and Bobby only briefly checked on them twice They got one of the cars completed, and the other was set to be completed early the next morning.

Dean was closing down the garage for the day when Bobby entered. “So, how did you first day go?”

“It was great,” Dean stated. “Those guys work hard, and they’re more skilled than you gave them credit for.”

“They’re decent, but they’re nothing like your or your father,” Bobby said. “I’m sure you’ll get annoyed with them soon enough.”

“Oh, come on,” Dean replied. “They can’t be that much worse than Sammy and I at their age.”

“Well..” Bobby stated. “You two were handfuls at one point. But you’re right, I’m harsh on them because I want them to be their best. Your father was tough on you and Sam, slightly too much at times no doubt, but you both turned out exceptionally.”

Dean scoffed slightly, uncomfortably at their praise. “More like one out of two.”

Bobby gave a disapproving look at Dean’s self-depreciating comment. “Nonsense,” he refuted. “If you’re being hard on yourself for being just ‘some mechanic’ let me remind you that you’ve got two mechanic fathers, and that hurts a little.”

Dean smiled. Bobby _was_ a father to him, and he appreciated that sentiment. “It’s not that, Bobby,” Dean said softly. He didn’t want to talk more on the subject any longer. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Dean stated as he made his way past Bobby, patting him on the shoulder as he passed. Dean heard him sigh as he walked away.

Tuesday was similar; he was able to open by himself, and he gave himself more time in the morning to pack himself a lunch. He read in his car on his lunch break while eating a PB & J sandwich.

Wednesday was the highlight of Dean’s week so far. Jack had gotten dropped off that morning instead of driving himself, but Dean didn’t see who had dropped him off. Dean finished reading his book on his lunch break. He closed the book and had a satisfied expression on his face, which Jack must’ve noticed.

“You finish it?” He asked.

“Yeah, I did. It took me a few days, but it I was really into it,” Dean stated.

“You don’t look like a reader,” Jack replied. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Dean said. “I never was, but I wanted something to do. My old hobbies were videogames mostly, and I needed something different, so I got these at the library.”

“Oh, cool. My uncle’s the librarian,” Jack said nonchalantly, piquing Dean’s interest. “Oh, Castiel’s your uncle?”

“Yeah,” Jack confirmed. “He’s picking me up today, one of my aunt’s needed to borrow my car this morning.”

Dean found his heartrate pick up. He could see Castiel again today, if he wanted to, of course. He had no reason to be excited to see a man he met once, but here he was. “That’s nice of him,” he said awkwardly. “He seemed like a nice guy.”

If Jack noticed anything odd about Dean’s behavior, he didn’t comment on it. “Yeah, he is.”

“Nice, well,” Dean stated, unsure of where to take this conversation now. “I’m going to step out, put this away, see you after lunch.” He awkwardly excused himself in his car where he hid from the conversation until his lunch was over. He thought of Castiel, and what should he say, or if he should say anything. He was wondering why he was debating this in the first place and why he cared. He may have to admit to himself that he has a crush, which was ridiculous because their interaction was so brief and one-sided.

He tried to force thoughts of Castiel out of his mind until it was time to head back to work. He tried to focus on the cars to the best he could; anything to think about other than Castiel. Luckily, it was just one car today, and he could just focus. He let the other two take some rests, and they were more than happy to let Dean give them some rest once in a while.

The car was finished just right before closing time, and Dean made his way to the bathroom to clean his hands and face free from oil and grease, not for Castiel’s sake, for his own- he told himself.

The workday ended and Dean hung around, not closing the garage door just yet, so he could see when Castiel arrived, and Castiel could see him.

A car with a male driver pulled into the lot; it was hard to tell it was Castiel due to the glare, but when Jack began to stand up and gather his things, it confirmed. Dean nonchalantly paced out of the garage to put himself in view.

“This you, Jack?” Dean asked, as innocently as possible.

Castiel had also made his way out of the parked car, and was making his way to them. “That’s me,” Jack replied, giving a tone that indicated he was aware something was up.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said as he approached. Jack just continued to walk past and head to the car. “I wasn’t aware you were the new supervisor Jack had spoken about.”

“Yeah, I’m a little surprised to see you too, but it’s a good surprise,” Dean said.

Castiel smiled softy. “How are you liking the books?”

“They’re good,” Dean replied. “I just finished the vampire one on lunch. I was captivated, I couldn’t put it down.”

“I’m really glad you enjoyed it,” Castiel stated. “I- would love to discuss more, but I should be taking Jack home, and you probably should finish up here.

“Yeah, sorry to keep you. But, I hope you have a very enjoyable Thanksgiving, Cas,” Dean said.

An intrigued smirk grew on Castiel’s face. “Cas?”

Dean chuckled with embarrassment and averted Castiel’s gaze, touching the back of his neck from an unconscious tell. “Sorry, I guess I just accidentally gave you a nickname there. I didn’t mean any disrespect-”

“No, Cas is fine,” Castiel confirmed with a delighted expression. “I wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving as well.”

Dean nodded in appreciated. “We will. I’ll guess I’ll see you around, then,” Dean stated to bid Cas goodbye.

Cas made his way to his car and Dean headed back to the garage, turning back to vaguely see Cas give a soft wave of his hand indicating goodbye before the car pulled out of the lot.

“You almost done there, lover-boy?” Bobby shouted from the entrance. Dean shot him a glare and made his way back in the shop to close. “Thanksgiving, tomorrow at Roadhouse. Bunch of people will be there watching the games on TV.”

“We’ll be there, Bobby,” Dean stated.

“Good, it’ll be nice to have a big family get together for once,” Bobby stated.

“We’re all looking forward to it,” Dean said.

Karen drove up into the lot to pick up Bobby, and Dean insisted he could close up for him. It was his fault for going slow to see Castiel anyways.

He made it home for the evening, had a nice dinner with Sam, and made his way to his room where he picked up the second book Castiel recommended about the banshee.

Dean thought about he told Cas he’d see him around; he really hoped that he would. That night, he dreamed of a certain librarian’s eyes and the span of the oceans within them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will eventually get longer, don't worry if you feel like you're zipping through this.


	4. The Thanksgiving Chapter

Thanksgiving morning was spent sleeping in. It felt odd getting a holiday after only three days of working, but it was going to be a good day.

He helped Jess make an Cinnamon Apple Strudel themed pie and a Pecan Pie themed cake. Dean thought it was so ironic she insisted on making desserts based off of other desserts, especially when there could have been a Pecan Pie themed pie, but she seemed very excited by them and he was happy to help.

Sam entered the house with brown bags of alcohol. “Why do we always forget to do this the day before?”

“Oh come on,” Dean stated. “The day-of holiday liquor store visit is a staple American tradition.”

“What’ja get?” Jess asked.

“Wine, champagne, vodka, and cranberry juice,” Sam explained.

“Momma likes,” Jess said.

“Better drink before you do become a mom,” Dean said. “You won’t be able to drink for nine whole months.”

“No baby talk please, you sound my parents,” she playfully whined. “You will get zero pie if you act up!”

“Consider the conversation dropped,” he replied with a smile.

They watched the first football game as the pies cooked and Sam agreed to D.D for Jess and Dean, so they started ‘pre-gaming’ a bottle of wine they already had at the house. Dean really loved getting to hang out with Jessica; he had only ever seen her for a day at a time. She was much more fun than Sam was, although he still loved him to death.

When it was time to head to The Roadhouse, they carefully packed up their desserts and Dean resisted the urge to start chowing down on them with his bare hands.

They arrived at the bar, and there were a good amount of cars in the lot. It seemed like Thanksgiving at The Roadhouse was a popular event.

They made their way inside, and it looked almost the same, but Ellen and Jo had every table decorated with covers, centerpieces, and autumnal wreaths.

They set their desserts at the large banquet table and the alcohol at the bar before making their way over to Bobby and Karen.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Sam greeted as he hugged Karen.

“Happy Thanksgiving, everyone,” Karen greeted. “Jessica, you look so beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you, Karen,” Jessica replied. She hugged Karen next after Sam as Ellen and Jo brought over plates and glasses from them all.

“Good evening, everyone,” Ellen said.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Ellen,” Bobby greeted.

“Help yourself to any food and drinks. We’ll bring the turkey and ham out later,” Ellen said.

“Thank you, Ellen,” Sam replied.

Dean heard an alert from his phone and he took it out to check it, and he was surprised to see a text message from Ben on the display. He tensed up and immediately felt his heart beginning to race. “Will you excuse me for a moment?” Dean asked as he headed out to the outdoor seating area of Roadhouse.

He took in a deep breath of the crisp autumn air before taking his phone back out and reading the text in its entirety.

“Dean, I really miss you. It really sucks you and mom broke up. It’s not the same without you being around. Please make up with mom, try something. I wish you were here with us this Thanksgiving. Please come back.”

Dean felt some tears begin to build in his eyes, and he felt his lungs begin to tighten. He loved Ben so much, and his biggest fear was that he wasn’t handling this breakup well. It appeared he was not.

Dean stared at the screen, wondering what to say or what to do. Lisa would be mad, likely, but he couldn’t leave Ben hanging.

He hit the call button and held the phone up to his ear. It only had to ring once for the dial tone to stop and for him to hear the white noise of a connected call from the other end.

“Dean?” Ben asked.

“Hey, kiddo,” Dean greeted, a bittersweet smile growing on his face. It was so nice hearing Ben’s voice. Dean hadn’t realized just how much he had missed it within two weeks.

“Dean, please come back home,” Ben pleaded.

“I wish I could, buddy,” Dean replied, holding back his tears the best he could. “I really wish I could. But your mom and I…..we just….-” Dean sniffled to keep his nose from running and tried to take a deep breath to refill his empty lungs. “-sometimes two people just aren’t meant to be together, and they don’t realize it until it’s too late. Even though we may want to, sometimes one or both people just aren’t happy.”

“What about my happiness, Dad?”

_Dad_. The tears rolled down Dean’s face with that word. Dean loved being Ben’s father, and that kid was the whole reason this situation was killing him. “There’s nothing I loved more than being your dad, kid. You made me so happy, and I wish I could make you happy again, but I just don’t make your mom happy anymore.”

“That’s not fair! You need to try! Please come back!”

“Ben? Who are you talking to?” Lisa’s voice was distant, but unmistakable. He sighed, knowing this was likely going to be his last conversation with Ben.

“No, mom no!” He heard Ben shout, along with noises that sounded like the phone was roughly being taken.

“Dean?” Lisa’s voice asked.

“Hi Lisa,” Dean stated, trying his best to bury the emotion in his voice. “Before you get mad, Ben texted me first, wanting me to come back and I’m just trying to give him some closure.”

The line was silent for a few seconds before he heard a sigh, “I’m not mad,” she said softly. “I just want him to stay strong. These weeks haven’t been easy for him.”

Dean wanted to be angry, he wanted to tell Lisa it was her fault he was hurting, he wanted to cause pain like she had caused him; but he had the strength to know he didn’t really want those things in the long run, and he restrained himself. “In the long run, he’ll know this is for the best. It’ll just take a lot of time.”

Lisa was silent again, perhaps she was already in pain and felt guilty to some extent. “Thank you, Dean. Are you doing ok?”

He grimaced. He was happy for the civil conversation, but he wasn’t ready to have this conversation so soon. “We don’t need to do all of that, Lisa. We both know it’s a messy breakup that I didn’t want. I’m not saying that to be rude, I appreciate the attempt, but I just can’t play pretend.”

“Right,” Lisa said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It is what it is. I need to head back to Sam and Bobby, and I’m sure you’re trying to manage something as well. Just be easy on the kid, Lees,” Dean stated.

“Will do,” she promised. “Goodbye, Dean.” The line was disconnected and Dean just solemnly put his phone back into his pocket. He leaned against the wooden railing of the outdoor patio and rested his head on his forearms and let himself cry for a moment, hoping for a cathartic moment that would purge all the bad feelings away; anything that would offer his soul some peace.

He heard the door open behind him and he forced himself to stand up and put on the façade of someone who had their composure contained.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone,” Jo’s voice stated. “I just figured you could use one of these.” She set a shot of whisky and a shot of vodka on the railing next to him. “Pick your poison.”

Dean couldn’t force a smile, but the thought was appreciated. “Why not just bring one and hope for the best?”

Jo gave Dean a smirk and leaned her side on the railing while continuing to face Dean. “To remind you that you’re not alone, and that you have a friend if you need one.” She took the shot of vodka and downed it herself before Dean had the opportunity to make a choice. “Too slow.”

Dean’s mouth curved upward at that. Here was a stranger, being playful with him, not tiptoeing around him like he was fragile. “I thought that point was for me to choose.”

Jo shook her head. “You don’t always get to choose in life; can’t choose circumstances, or what happens, or-”, she picked the shot of whiskey up and set it more in front of Dean directly, “-whomever comes into your life. You just make the best of what life gives you.”

She walked away from Dean, leaving him to himself on the patio, surprisingly distracted and slightly feeling better from the tragic phone call he just had. He took the shot as suggested and upon setting the glass back down, he received another alert on his phone.

He begrudgingly took his phone back out. The text was from an unsaved phone number. He unlocked his phone and read the message.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Dean Winchester.

-Castiel, the librarian.”

Dean smiled at the text, and was aware he was doing so; this random, perfectly timed text message brought Dean slightly out of his misery for the time being.

“thank you cas,” Dean replied, following it up with “happy thanksgiving to you too”. He hoped his new librarian friend wouldn’t mind the lack of professionalism in his texts, but he suddenly felt self-conscious and found himself wishing he put more effort into them.

There was no reply, leaving Dean to wonder what Cas’s intention was. He knew he gave Cas his number for the library card, and the librarian didn’t seem like the person to use his work information for personal use, but it appears this must be what he did. Dean didn’t mind at all, this text was exactly what he needed right now. He was thankful to have Charlie in town, Jos offer at friendship, and whatever this was with Castiel. Maybe he wouldn’t be so alone in this town, though.

He made his way inside and rejoined his family, but after pouring himself some generous amounts of alcohol. They didn’t ask about the call, but he knew Sam or Jess would later. They lifted his spirits with their joy and camaraderie. He still missed Ben and the Thanksgiving they had as a family, but he looked at the family he had with him now, and he was pretty content with that.

Later on in the night, the Roadhouse got a later arrival.While the women here were more dressed for the holidays than most of the men, this woman was over-extravagantly dressed. An older woman with long red hair and a black ornate ball gown that looked like it was from the 1800s.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!” The woman announced as she entered. Ellen approached the woman to greet her and welcome her in.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Rowena,” Ellen greeted. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Thank you, Ellen,” Rowena said. “I would never miss it.”

“We have a new gentleman in town I’d like you to meet,” Ellen said.

Rowena’s face lit up with a coy smile. “Are you trying to find me husband number four?”

“Definitely not,” Ellen said as she escorted Rowena to the Winchester’s table.

“Rowena, this is Dean Winchester, John Winchester’s other son,” Ellen stated.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dean,” Rowena greeted. “I’m Rowena MacLeod. I knew your father through Bobby. They are the only mechanics I would ever trust with any of my vehicles.”

“MacLeod?” Dean asked. “From the hospital and the buildings?”

“Oh, please,” she said bashfully. “I’d rather not focus on that. But I must say you are _quite_ the handsome gentleman. I hope you’re enjoying our little town. It’s not a whole lot, but the people in it are what makes it special.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “I’ve definitely met some good people.”

“But have you met anyone _special_?” Rowena asked.

Castiel briefly popped into his head, even though he currently barely knew him. “Not anyone yet, I’m trying to avoid that train for a while. I just got out of something before I came to town, so…I’d rather not.”

“My condolences,” she said politely. “Well, then perhaps you may want avoid the yearly Christmas festival my family hosts every year downtown on Christmas Eve.”

“And why’s that?” Dean asked.

“Well, it’s 2020. Every twenty years, a couple finds true love at our winter festival and live happily ever after,” she replied cheerfully and sing-songy. Dean let out an awkward chuckle at that. Those kinds of things didn’t exist, and it definitely wasn’t going to happen to him.

“I don’t think that is something I have to worry about,” Dean replied with a confident arrogance, that was definitely picked up by Rowena.

“Well in that case, I would love to see you there. Hosting this festival annually is my pride and joy, and I would love for you to experience it as a first-timer,” Rowena stated.

“It’s very beautiful,” Karen stated.

“Thank you, Karen,” Rowena accepted. “The townspeople work so hard to make it all come together. I do think this year’s will be truly special.”

“I’ll make sure he goes,” Sam stated.

“Thank you, Sam,” she stated. “Let me make my rounds and I’ll leave you to your festivities. I was wonderful meeting you, Dean, and it was truly wonderful seeing everyone.”

“Good evening, Rowena,” Ellen stated as Rowena went on her way.

“Does she really own the whole town?” Dean asked.

“Her family and the Novaks own a lot of the properties and major buildings in town, but they’re all good natured for the most part. Her son is an asshole, but she tried her best,” Ellen stated.

“Anyone really know if she’s blowing smoke about the love thing?” Dean asked.

Ellen hummed and looked over at Bobby and Karen. “2000 was so long ago and I already had my husband, how about you all?”

“Well, we were already together as well,” Bobby said.

“I knew the couple!” Karen stated. “It was Eric Heyworth and Sandra Merrywhether! They got married in ’03! They met right at that festival!”

“Sounds more romantic than law school,” Jessica teased, nudging Sam with her elbow.

“Oh, but you didn’t need it, you two are made to last,” Karen complimented.

“Well, thank you, Karen,” Jessica said. “But it would make for a cute story.” She looked at Dean with a. Hopeful smile and he rolled her eyes. He was happy nobody pushed on the issue more. All in all, it was a more positive Thanksgiving than Dean had anticipated. He looked around at Bobby, Karen, Jess. Jo even joined them after a while. He wondered what Castiel and his family was doing, if he had any family to share it with. He hoped that he did, and he hoped he would see Cas soon.


	5. The Rendezvous

The next few days after Thanksgiving were relaxing and peaceful for Dean. He read his book from Cas, and he thought about Cas’s number in his phone. Should he text him? Invite him somewhere? He still wasn’t sure if he should pursue anything, but he couldn’t shake the man off his mind.

He decided to call up Charlie instead to take his mind off the man. The phone rang a. few rings before the line clicked.

“Hi, Dean,” Charlie greeted cheerfully. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Dean said. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, I’m just playing some video games,” she stated. “How about you?”

Dean closed his book and rubbed his face to loosen up some tension that was building in his forehead. “I’ve been reading non-stop for two days. I need a break. I was wondering if you’d want to hang out.”

“Sure, that sounds like fun!” Charlie said. “But there’s not a lot here in town. Would you like to accompany me to this little shopping outlet mall? It’s in-between here and Lawrence, so it’s only about twenty minutes away, and it is _thee_ closest place to do any Christmas shopping.”

“Getting out of this town for some fresh air would be delightful,” Dean stated.

“Hating us this much?” Charlie asked.

“Not hating, I just want to see a little more life,” Dean replied.

“I understand,” Charlie said. “Let me pick you up in an hour, I’ll get ready.”

“Sounds good, see you then,” Dean stated before he hung up. He took a shower and chose to swap out his comfortable tee shirt with a slightly better looking plaid button down since he was going in public now. He put on some cologne, unsure why he was trying so hard to impress his lesbian best friend, but he wanted to make a good impression. This was the first time they had hung out since high school.

The doorbell rang and Dean grabbed his leather jacket and made his way to the front door. Sam and Jessica noticed the effort he put in.

“Hot date?” Sam asked in confusion.

“It’s just Charlie,” Dean said.

“You know you’re not her type, right?” Sam asked.

“Ha ha,” Dean replied unassumingly as he opened the door. “Good Afternoon, Charlie.”

“Good Afternoon, Dean,” she replied, smiling at him. “You ready to head out?”

“Absolutely.”

They talked about their Thanksgivings during the drive; Charlie had gone to her friend Benny’s house in Lawrence. They had met in the GSA club in college and Charlie excitedly offered to introduce them, which Dean politely declined for now.

They arrived at the outlet mall, and it was a cute area. He was expecting a sad strip mall, but there was a large square perimeter of shops and boutiques. The pillars and benches were already decorated for Christmas, as were many of the glass windows in the displays, and there was a large sitting area on two ends of the shops, each with a large Christmas tree already decorated to the fullest.

“I never remembered anything this classy about Lawrence, or anything close to it,” Dean stated.

“Why did you leave Lawrence anyways?” Charlie asked.

Dean tensed up slightly, it wasn’t a positive memory. “I left when my dad died,” he said, leaving it at that.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s not a positive experience, from experience.”

“I definitely shouldn’t complain,” he said.

Charlie hummed in amusement. “You can express grief, Dean, I promise. I don’t resent people who have ever had parents. Breaking news, almost everyone has.”

Dean chuckled at her reassurance. “I suppose the only way I deal with my Robles is to assure myself other people had it worse.”

“You should try some therapy in that case,” she countered.

“So I’ve been told,” Dean sighed.

Charlie gave him a genuine smile and gestured over to the shops. “Come on, let’s try some retail therapy first.”

Dean didn’t have a whole lot of money right now since he hasn’t worked at Bobby’s long enough to receive a check yet, so he mostly just accompanied Charlie and gave her some input on clothes and gifts.

Dean wandered off to the men’s side of the store to get some ideas for himself or perhaps Sam. He was looking around at the displays when he bumped into another person.

“I’m terribly sorry,-” he apologized as he shifted his gaze to the person he just assaulted, and was surprised to see a familiar pair of beautiful blue eyes starting back at him.

“Dean,” Castiel greeted in a surprised, but pleasant matter.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied. “Fancy running into you here….literally, I suppose, I’m very sorry about that.”

“Well, I am glad it was you,” Castiel said. “What brings you out here today?”

“Just doing some shopping with my friend, Charlie,” Dean replied.

“Bradbury?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Call it a hopeful guess,” Castiel said. Dean wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

“Are you a friend of hers?” Dean asked.

“Unfortunately, she is only an acquaintance, but she is very charming and pleasant based off of the interactions I’ve had with her at the library,” he explained. This had Dean curious. Did this mean Cas was hoping Dean was bi or gay imply by being in association with Charlie? Technically, Dean wasn’t sure about Cas either, only that he liked a book about two gay knights. Perhaps Dean was reading too much into things.

“She is, I’ve known her since high school. I got to reunite with her when I moved to Angel City,” Dean stated.

Castiel’s smile lit up, truly interested in Dean’s words. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad for the both of you.”

“I suppose it’s a small world, like running into you here,” Dean said.

“Well, as charming as our town is, sometimes I need to step out of town for certain things, clothing specifically,” Castiel said.

Dean eyed him up and down and he was still professionally dressed, even out of work; he had a blue button down and a white argyle sweater vest under a black trench coat this time. “You still look fancy. You must really love long coats.”

Castiel blushed in embarrassment a little. “I suppose my closet could use a little diversity. You look much better than I.”

Dean looked down at himself, very thankful he put in effort into his look before leaving. If he knew he’d be seeing Cas, it would have been no question. He was aware of Cas’s gaze on his body, and that simultaneously excited him as well as terrified him.

“Stop,” Dean protested. “I think this is the bare minimum and it doesn’t get much better than this.”

Castiel gave him a suspicious look and a smirk. “I don’t think I believe that for a moment.” Dean’s heart rate picked up and he was definitely feeling flushed. Castiel was definitely hitting on him right now. There was no more doubting about it. Dean must have scared him off with whatever shocked expression he wore on his face because Cas now seemed embarrassed. “I should…..let you get back to Charlie…”

“Wait,” Dean interrupted. Cas looked surprised, but intrigued at Dean’s abruption.

“Would you want to get dinner sometimes this week, and get to know each other better?” Dean asked.

Castiel’s smile grew largely in a way that sort of shook Dean. He couldn’t imagine someone so happy with the thought of going on a date with him. “I’d like that a lot. What day is good for you?”

“Is Wednesday too early to see you?” Dean asked. He couldn’t wait an entire week to see Cas, although he was slightly embarrassed that he so openly phrased it like that. He was surprised at himself for asking him out to begin with, let alone be so transparently eager, but Castiel had an effect on him.

The librarian didn’t seem faltered by Dean’s rush. “Wednesday sounds good. It’ll give me something to look forward to.” Now it was Dean’s turn to smile bashfully and blush. “Can I pick you up at seven? I can find us a place if you want, since I know the area well, if that’s okay.”

“That sounds great,” Dean said. “I guess I’ll see you then.”

He walked away from Castiel and redound Charlie at the registers, waiting in line to pay. “Hey, did you find anything you liked?”

“I guess you could say I did,” Dean said with a coy smirk, earning a chuckle from Charlie. “The men here aren’t merchandise, Dean. But if you scored a number, good for you.”

“I’m not one to kiss and tell,” he replied.

“Fair enough.” There was no way of knowing if anything with Cas would go anywhere, so he may as well not jinx himself, but he couldn’t stop himself from glancing back to the men’s section to try to get another glimpse of those beautiful blue eyes.

December crept around and Dean was looking forward to his date with Castiel. He hadn’t texted Cas all week, he didn’t want to be too over the top or clingy, but something about the man changed his demeanor about _everything_.

He was opening up the shop Wednesday morning before Garth and Jack arrived. Dean wondered if Castiel said anything to Jack about their date. He could see how it could be weird for his supervisor to be dating his uncle, but the boy said nothing the past two days.

“Someone woke up on the correct side of the bed this morning,” Garth said midway through the day. “I like it much better than you both being grumpy. I have to liven this place all by myself.”

“I’m just in a good mood today,” Dean replied vaguely. He didn’t want to say anything in case Jack didn’t know.

“He’s got a date with my uncle tonight,” Jack replied. Dean grimaced with an embarrassed reaction. Luckily he was underneath the car so the other two couldn’t see him.

“So Castiel told you? Did he say anything else?” Dean asked.

“I just overheard him talk to my aunt, go text him yourself,” Jack replied annoyed.

Dean smiled softly. So Castiel was pleased enough to tell one of his sisters, and the word ‘date’ was almost definitely used.

The day seemed to drag, partially due to Dean’s excitement, but closing time did eventually come around. Dean locked up the store and Jack sauntered over to him, looking slightly arrogant.

“Yes, Jack?” Dean asked.

“Don’t hurt my uncle, or whatever,” Jack advised.

Dean didn’t laugh, although he was humored by why such a disclaimer was needed to begin with. “We’re just getting to know each other. This is our first…..date or whatever,” he said.

Jack just walked away and Dean was left more nervous than he was before. This town was likely a stepping stone once he got on his feet again. What if Cas _did_ get attached to him and then Dean decided to leave? Lisa probably never _planned_ to hurt Dean, but that is what happened; that was life. Things just don’t work out sometimes. What if he did end up hurting Cas some way or another down the road? That was never something one could plan for or avoid.

After a few minutes of internal panicking, Dean decided it wasn’t worth stressing over at this time. If he _was_ going to be in this town for a while, he should try to make some friends as be social. And if that included a potentially gay librarian he might have a small crush on, Dean would find a way to make it work.

He took a hot shower when he got home, styled his hair, put on one of his best dress shirts, and sprayed his best cologne. He took a deep, long look in the mirror to try to ease his nerves. A month ago, he was with Lisa, a woman he was going to marry and spend the rest of his life with, and now he was already going on a date- with a guy this time.

He wasn’t sure if he was insane, stupid, reckless, or what he was; but he became even less sure of himself once he heard the doorbell ring, announcing Castiel’s arrival.

“I got it!” He heard Jessica announce through the walls of the house.

“Fuck me,” Dean mumbled as he quickly left the bathroom, trying to minimize the time Jessica would have to ask questions.

Jessica opened the door and was surprised to see the town librarian on the other side of her door . “Castiel? Good evening, what a surprise to see you here.”

“Good evening, Jessica,” Cas greeted. “I’m here to pick up Dean. He and I, well,…I was going to show him downtown, I suppose.”

Dean overheard Cas’s explanation and he was really relieved Cas didn’t call it a date in front of Jessica; not that he didn’t want it to be a date, but because he didn’t want to play 100 Questions with her once he was eventually back home.

“Please, come on in,” Jessica gestured. Dean was in the living room already, and Jessica gave him a really excited knowing smile when her face was out of Castiel’s view. 100 Questions was going to be played regardless.

Dean gasped a little when Castiel came into view. He was ornately dressed in a pristine suit. He must have left the trench coat at home or in the car. This was the first time Dean got to see all of Castiel’s figure. He was a broad man with strong shoulders from what he could tell. Everything on him was tailored perfectly, and it suited him very well. No wonder Jess immediately picked up on what tonight was; he was dressed to the tens and had Dean suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said as he entered the living room. “And good evening to you too, Sam.”

“Castiel, always a pleasure,” Sam said as he got off of the couch to come up to Castiel and shake his hand. Sam also gave Dean a proud look and Dean had never felt more embarrassed.

“We should get going,” Dean awkwardly insisted.

“Yes, we should,” Castiel said. “I hope to see you all soon. Your home is quite beautiful.”

“Thank you, Castiel,” Jessica replied as she turned to Dean. “I hope you two have fun!” She had a playful tone in her voice, further implying she knew this was a date, and Dean playfully pushed her a little on his way out.

“I’m sorry about them,” Dean stated as they made their way to Castiel’s blue sedan on the street.

“What for? They’re lovely people. They didn’t do anything wrong,” Castiel replied.

“Well, I’m sure they would have made it their mission to embarrass me if I didn’t rush us out,” Dean replied.

Castiel hummed in amusement as he opened Dean’s door for him; something so mundane, but felt so strange being on the receiving side of.

“Thank you,” he choked out, his nerves fried. He was always confident and suave with ladies. He was a bit of a player in his youth, and somehow this librarian of all people has turned him into the timid one.

Castiel climbed in to his driver’s side and buckled up. “I know the feeling,” he stated. “I have twelve brothers and sisters. They can be pretty embarrassing.”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise. “Twelve!?

“Yes,” he confirmed. “My family is very religious, we had quite a full house.”

“That’s wild. Was everyone fighting for attention all the time?” Dean asked.

“Michael and Lucifer were, mostly, as they were the oldest. Some others. Many of us resigned to our roles. I simply didn’t care, although I can’t say for certain if I subconsciously resigned from the start. I was the second youngest,” he explained. 

“That’s unfortunate. No kid should feel like that. But also, you have a brother named Lucifer!?”

“Like I said, incredibly religious,” Cas reiterated. “Some of us became agnostic or atheists ironically.”

“That’s many religious kids I suppose. My parents were religious, but then my mother died young, and Dad stopped believing,” Dean replied. “Now he’s dead too.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” Castiel replied. “Loss will definitely do that.”

“And your parents?” Dean asked.

“Also gone,” Castiel replied.

“My condolences.”

“To you as well.” Cas seemed well put together, but who knows? Maybe Cas was another damaged orphan, just like himself. He wasn’t sure if Heaven or Hell existed. He hoped Heaven did, for his mom. He wasn’t sure if his dad was there, or if he wanted his dad there. If there was something, if his dad could see this, he hoped he was hating every moment of it.

The rest of their car conversation was lighter, and they eventually made their way to an upscale pub and restaurant near the shopping area where he ran into Cas the other day.

“There are a few gems outside of these small towns that beings everybody together. I think there’s something beautiful about that,” Castiel said.

Dean smiled softly at his words. His tone was always so peaceful and wise. Dean was always incredibly intimidated and uncomfortable around smart, arrogant people; but Dean didn’t get an ounce of arrogance from Cas. And although he felt a little out of his league, Castiel was captivating, and he felt more enriched in his presence.

They made their way inside the restaurant and they were escorted to a small booth table in the corner with a great view of the rest of the bar. The waitress brought them their drinks and they waited on their food.

“You’re from Lawrence originally, right?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, I am. Then I moved out to Denver when Dad passed. Nothing was keeping me around anymore,” Dean said.

“I see,” Castiel said. “I’ve been to Denver twice I believe. The mountain scapes are quite beautiful.”

“Yeah, they are,” Dean agreed. “I enjoyed the occasional hiking trip. The whole world seems so small and far away when you’re up there.”

“Is that what you were looking for? To get away from the world?” Cas asked. Dean’s mouth twitched as it held back an impressed smile. Was Cas coincidental with his question or did he have a way to see through Dean? Was he truly transparent and without defenses due tot his man?”

“Something like that,” he said innocently. “How about you? You seem smart and successful, why stay in this town?”

Castiel smirked. “I know many people who equate success with getting out of their small town, and failure with not being able to do so. But I left the state for college, and I’ve had a few holidays in a few different American cities. But you know home when you see it, and Angel City has always been that for me. Lucifer got out the moment they could. Uriel and Amenadiel left too, but the rest of us are still around.”

“Well, I am glad you like it. I hope I didn’t offend you at all,” Dean apologized.

“None at all. Although, I am worried now that you’re not adjusting,” Cas inquired.

Dean shrugged and took a swig of his beer. “I just need more time. My life and expectations were very uprooted a month ago. I was expecting to still be in Denver with a fiancée and step-son. I’ve got a lot to cope with.”

“This breakup was only a month ago?” Castiel asked with a concerned tone.

“Yeah,” Dean admitted. “Ideally, I should have allowed myself much more time before trying anything like _this_ ,-” he gestured to the both of them and did a small wave of his hand to encompass the restaurant. “-but, uhh…..I really wanted to get to know you.”

Castiel smiled softly at Dean’s flustered explanation. “So you agree this is a date, then.”

Dean scoffed with humor and gave a light smile. “Yeah, this is a date.”

“I’m glad,” Cas said. “And I understand wholeheartedly. This can be slow and casual as needed. I would prefer not to rush into being a rebound.”

“Thank you for understanding. I definitely don’t want to do that to you either,” Dean explained. “I just……couldn’t stop thinking of you after we met.”

Castiel looked embarrassed and overwhelmed from the flattery. He took a drink of his wine to hide himself, which was obvious to Dean, and he let out a chuckle. Castiel set his drink down, but was still attempting to hide his gaze from Dean, but he wasn’t hiding his smile. Cas eventually forced himself to look back at Dean. “I suppose I was…equally attracted upon meeting you. I’m _really_ glad you ran into me at that store.”

Before Dean could add anything further, the waitress had set their dishes in front of the both of them and they exchanged a knowing glance that their timing was terrible and their moment was interrupted.

“Thank you,” Dean told the staff cordially as they left the two of them be. Dean decided maybe the food was a blessing and it would prevent him from embarrassing himself further.

When dinner was done, they headed back to the car and little flurries of snow were gracefully dancing downward. It was a beautiful atmosphere perfectly accompanied by the beautiful gentleman standing before him; the restaurant lights perfectly spotlighting and framing his gorgeous face. He wasn’t sure how Castiel had caused him to let down all his walls so effortlessly, and it was a little terrifying, but he couldn’t imagine a more perfect night.

The drive back to Dean’s house was peaceful. They didn’t talk much, but they frequently stole glances and smiles from one another on the entire drive. They parked in front of the house, and Dean turned to Castiel again.

“Can I walk you to your door?” Castiel asked.

Dean smiled at the thought of Cas being a perfect romantic gentleman. “That’s not necessary, but I appreciate the offer.”

Castiel looked a little disappointed for a brief moment before keeping a neutral expression, and Dean realized he just wanted some extra time with him. Dean raised himself slightly out of the chair and cupped Castiel’s face before bringing their mouths together for a kiss.

Castiel reciprocated the kiss tenderly, and it drove Dean wild, but the position he was in wasn’t comfortable, so he slowly sat himself down, trying not to break his lips contact with Cas until the last second, but still leaving his arm to linger and and fall down his.

“Tonight was amazing,” Dean replied.

“I would have to agree,” Castiel said, slightly out of breath, and _fuck_ that was such a seductive, coy growl he had in his voice. Dean wanted desperately to grab Castiel by the tie, pull him back to his side and keep kissing, but he would refrain.

“I’ll see you soon, Castiel,” Dean stated as he opened the door and stepped out.

“Dean!” Cas announced right before he was about to shut the door.

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean asked.

“So, I know you want to take things slow and all, and there’s certain rules players like you need to follow, but, uh, don’t feel like you need to wait three days just to text if you don’t want to,” Cas suggested.

There was something about the man’s confidence that really turned Dean on. He had never navigated these roles with a guy before. Sure he would refrain from texting to not appear desperate, and to keep the girl from being clingy, but Dean _really_ wanted to be clingy now.

He climbed back head and torso first back into the car and kissed Castiel strongly again. Castiel was more passionate this time around as well.

“Keep that up, and you might just get good morning texts,” Dean playfully threatened.

“I am so thankful that line didn’t backfire,” Cas replied.

Dean chuckled and put one final soft kiss on his lips. “Get home safe.” Dean maneuvered his way out of the car and carefully closed the door and made his way back to the house. He turned behind him once last time to wave goodbye at Cas. Upon shifting his gaze back, he noticed the curtains in the window moving, as if they had been dropped.

Dean sighed heavily as he entered the house and turned to the couch by the window, where Sam and Jess were sitting. Sam looked humored and Jessica looked guilty, holding tightly to a cup of hot cocoa. Only Jessica was in reach of the curtains.

“Enjoy the show?” Dean asked.

Sam started to laugh, but tried to contain it as Jessica looked nervous. “Uhh, Sam and I did enjoy the television tonight, I suppose. How was your night?”

Dean rolled his eyes and made his way to his room. “Goodnight, Jess,” he said dryly.

“Wait, no! Come back! Sit with us!” She pleaded.

“GOODNIGHT, JESS!” He playfully repeated from down the hall, causing Sam to laugh harder.


	6. The Second Date

Dean woke up the next morning in a great mood. His night with Castiel was amazing. The only thing that would have made it better was if Castiel was waking up in bed with him. He grabbed his phone and saw a text from Castiel that read “Good Morning”. Dean smirked, knowing it was likely sent with Castiel reminiscing on their kiss. He texted a reply and got out of bed to start the day.

He was making his breakfast when Sam entered the kitchen, and Dean knew Sam would likely want to ask about his date.

“Good Morning, Dean,” Sam greeted. “Sleep well?”

“Slept perfect,” he replied chummily.

Sam hummed as he poured his coffee. “How was your date with Castiel?”

Dean sighed as he took a sip of his own. “Can’t a guy enjoy a little privacy? It may not even develop into anything. If it does, I will tell you.”

“Does this mean we’re not expecting it to develop?” Sam asked.

“I do not know, Sammy! It was _one_ date!” Dean groaned.

“Fine, fine, we will back off. We just want you to be happy,” Sam said. “And it seems like that kiss made you _very_ happy.”

Dean loudly groaned in disgust. “Why were you watching me? You perverts!”

Sam laughed in response. “I didn’t see it, but Jess described it. I also could have done without.”

“Goodbye,” Dean said bitterly as he grabbed the last of his stuff and headed out the door. He made it to work and there was little to no awkwardness from Jack, which was a relief. He was worried about how hard he was crushing, and if Cas was on a similar level. If things did go south, it would hurt hard for either of them.

But they were trying to take it _slow_ , although that would be very hard to do now that he already experienced such an electrifying kiss from the man. He hadn’t been checking his phone since he took pride in his work ethic, and didn’t want to set an example, so he focused on work to the best of his ability; but every time he thought about Cas’s chiseled jaw, his plump lips, or his deep blue eyes, he felt a discomforting ache in his pants. He hid underneath the cars as much as possible that day.

The work day finally ended and after Dean had closed shop he checked his phone for an update. Right on top was a text message that read, “I hope you have a good day at work today, Dean.”

It was sent shortly after he started, but he would have to agree it was pretty good. “I had a really hot date last night and I was thinking about him all day long,” Dean texted back before continuing to close up the shop.

Dean felt his phone vibrate on his drive home. He was very relieved Jess was working at the hospital tonight and he could dodge her invasive questions for another night. He collapsed in his bed and checked out his cellphone.

“He must have left a really good impression you in that case,” Cas texted.

“You have no idea. I just hope I left a good impression as well,” Dean replied.

He waited a few minutes for his phone to vibrate again, and he checked what he received from Castiel. “I am fairly positive you did.”

Dean smirked at the phone. He loved the coy playfulness of their conversation. The man was riling him up and he wanted to reciprocate. He brought the phone up to his lips and hit the record audio button for audio messages. “How do you know, though?” Dean asked in his lowest, sultriest voice. He didn’t want anything getting lost in translation for this one.

A few minutes passed and he had a voice message in response. Castiel’s reply was longer than Dean’s initial message, which had him curious. He held the phone up to his ear and pressed play.

“I’m positive because I know if _I_ was on a date with you, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands or mouth off of you,” Castiel growled. _Fuck_. The audio message went straight to Dean’s groin and he rolled over on his back. This man was going to be the death of him. Dean couldn’t deny their chemistry any longer. He didn’t even feel this way with Lisa when they first met. That was all physical, and emotional came down the road; but with Cas, it was intellectual and emotional, and he was sure the physical would be _amazing_ when and if it gets to that.

“When can I see you again?” Dean texted after saving the audio file. He played it again for his own enjoyment. “I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands or mouth off of you,” the recording repeated.

His phone chirped with a new alert. “How does Saturday night sound?”

Dean was tapping the side of his phone and he bit his lip as he read Castiel’s message. “Saturday night sounds great.”

“Can I pick you up again?” Cas asked.

“Yes.”

“See you Saturday, then. Sweet dreams, Dean,” Cas replied.

Saturday rolled around and Dean had finished his second book from Castiel. He had so much he wanted to talk about with Castiel. Their texts have continued, but haven’t been full-length convos. They flirted through text, called each other handsome. Dean was looking more and more forward to every conversation with Cas.

He got his first paycheck from Bobby, and he put some into savings, paid down his credit card that had gotten abused when he crashed at a motel after Lisa kicked him out, and would keep the rest, but mind his spending. Sam refused any rent from Dean, and encouraged Dean to save some more, so he did.

Castiel arrived at the house to pick Dean up again, and Dean lucked out again with it being Jessica’s Saturday to work. Dean kissed Castiel as soon as the front door was closed behind him.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all week,” Dean stated.

“We just saw each other Wednesday, and did _that_ on Wednesday as well,” Castiel replied with an entertained confusion.

“Trust me, I was thinking about it on Monday and Tuesday too,” Dean replied flirtatiously.

Cas smiled and leaned in for another kiss with Dean. It was tender, and they kept their lips together unmoving for longer than a normal kiss should’ve been, but it was nice. They broke free and Dean just smiled at Cas as the both of them stood outside in the light snow.

“Where are we going today?” Dean asked with a soft smile.

Castiel’s face grimaced and he seemed a little bashful. “So, I have a place in mind that I was planning on going to in advance, and you may not like it. If you don’t I’ll do what I can to make it up to you, but I’m really excited.”

Castiel made a hopeful, pleading face that was too precious to resist. “I’m more than happy to accompany you to anywhere you’d like to go.”

Cas grinned eagerly at Dean’s cooperation. “Thank you,” he cheerfully replied as he extended his arm to Dean. Dean held his hand and allowed himself to be escorted to Castiel’s car.

They drove for about an hour until they arrived at the Kansas University campus in Lawrence. Castiel stepped out and Dean also exited, confused as to what could be here.

“I gotta say, I love your dedication to authenticity, but if we were going to do a professor and student role play, we could have just done it at your place,” Dean said with a flirtatious wink.

Cas shook his head, hiding his embarrassed smile. “No, you fiend. We’re going to see the campus’s orchestra band.”

“An orchestra?” Dean asked nervously. That usually meant high-caliber people that were richer and fancier than Dean. He definitely wasn’t dressed for the occasion.

“The student orchestra, and it’s just the university’s arts center, not a large New York style theatre. It’s their winter show, so mostly adapted Christmas music,” Castiel explained.

“Oh,” Dean stated. That calmed his nerves a little bit. “I like Trans Siberian Orchestra. They do rock covers of Christmas music.”

Cas smiled at Dean, but he wasn’t making fun of him. “It won’t be rock music, but it won’t be Beethoven either, so I hope that’ll be okay.”

“You seemed excited about it, I’m glad you wanted me to be a part of it,” Dean said.

“Well, I’ll feel bad if you don’t have a good time,” Cas replied.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Dean said as they made their way inside. The performing arts center was a beautiful building; he couldn’t believe it was for college students as opposed to state of the art performers. Dean had never seen Sam at Stanford; if Lawrence, Kansas had something this nice, then other universities must have been even more grand, and Dean definitely did not fit in.

“I’ll get our tickets for us,” Dean said.

“No, you don’t have to,” Cas said. “I have a…membership pass thing I can redeem, so don’t worry about it, just wait for me over here, ok?”

Dean felt bad for not being able to pay for a date yet, but he couldn’t say no when Castiel gave him that reassuring smile. Dean did find his behavior odd, though; it was his least smooth and suave sentence yet, but perhaps he was overreacting.

“I’ve got our tickets,” Cas said. “Let’s go.”

Dean smiled as he followed his date inside the auditorium. The interior looked equally as nice, and there were a lot of people around dressed nicer than he was, but enough people dressed casually for him to feel at ease.

They took their seats and Cas must have been able to tell Dean was nervous in some way. He took Dean’s hand into his and gave it a light squeeze. Dean turned to Cas, who was already looking at him tenderly. Dean smiled, knowing he was supported, and turned back to the stage.

The lights dimmed and the curtain rose to reveal the student orchestra. The conductor began to wave his wand and the melodies began to rise from their instruments. All of the tunes were familiar and recognizable, yet something about them all was different and edited; and Dean was experiencing all of them for the first time.

Dean tried to sneak peeks of Castiel throughout the show, never wanting to distract him. The man was transfixed, in awe, and the amusement in his smile warmed Dean from the inside. Castiel looked so perfect and innocently happy, that Dean was happy he came along just to see the expression on Castiel’s face.

Dean turned back to the stage. He was impressed these students had all of these songs just memorized in their heads, and they knew exactly how to play them all through and through with no sheets in front of them. Dean found their talent to be truly spectacular.

After about ninety minutes, Dean assumed what was being played was the finale of the show due to the intensity of the music. After several sections stopped and a few strong notes were played by a soloist, the lights illuminated softly and the crowd went into a strong applause. Castiel stood up and Dean followed suit. All of the students rose from their chairs and bowed, including the conductor.

Castiel and Dean made their way out of the arts center and back towards the car.

“So,” Castiel started. “Did you like it?” There was hope in his voice, and luckily, Dean didn’t need to lie to be nice.

“I was pleasantly surprised. Those students, they’re really good!” Dean admitted.

“Yes, they are very talented. I was drawn in to their performance,” Castiel said. “I love orchestra, and I truly love Christmastime, as silly as that may sound, so this was pretty ideal for me. I greatly appreciate you allowing me to selfishly drag you along.”

“Nonsense,” Dean said as he stepped in front of Castiel. “Tonight was a great experience, and the look on your face as you watched them was…….just so beautiful. I enjoy every moment I get to hang with you and learn about you.” He leaned in, cupped Castiel’s face, and proceeded to kiss him deeply.

The broke apart and Castiel just continued to look at Dean in awe. “I do think this was quite a perfect date, although I did sort of shoot myself in the foot by picking something where I couldn’t actually interact with you.”

Dean hummed in amusement and wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him closer. “You want to _interact_ with me, you say?” He brought his mouth to Castiel’s neck and kissed it, earning a small excited moan from the librarian.

“Stop, not in public!” Cas playfully announced while laughing. Dean let go as requested and just looked at Cas sultrily. “Gosh, you do drive me wild.”

Dean had a pleased, proud expression on his face. Castiel had the same effect on him. All of his thoughts on how he wanted this date to end were all impure.

“Please get in the car, I’m freezing,” Castiel pleaded.

“I tried to warm you up,” Dean playfully countered.

The car ride back to Dean’s was thick with _want_ and they both sort of knew it, but they did their best to not cross the line. Dean held Cas’s hand the entire ride and he’d occasionally bring it to his mouth to kiss. They talked about the books Dean read, and Dean said he was excited to start the one with the gay knights.

They arrived at Dean’s house and Dean just sighed, looking at his house, wishing their night didn’t have to be over. He wanted to invite Castiel inside and have a magical night with him. He wanted so much more of Castiel _right now_ but it was too much, too soon.

“What are you thinking about?” Castiel’s voice was so velvety, almost like a purr. It drew Dean’s attention back to the real man, not the fictional one he was fantasizing about right now.

“You,” Dean replied. “Always you.”

Castiel blushed and bashfully looked away from Dean for a moment. He looked at the house, knowing Dean’s question, having the same interest in his eyes. “I think we should wait,” Castiel said remorsefully, like it hurt him to also be strong.

“I think so too,” Dean sighed, taking Castiel’s hand and kissing it, which was quickly becoming one of his favorite things to do.

“I think I’m getting swept up in our desires and our insecurities and-”

“Insecurities?” Dean asked. “You?”

“I have plenty to be insecure about,” Castiel said. “I’m sure you may as well, although I could hardly how.”

Dean scoffed and looked away, embarrassed. “Whatever I may or may not be insecure about, it has nothing to do with you or the bedroom,” Dean replied confidently.

“See? We’re still learning about each other,” Castiel said. “We shouldn’t rush anything.”

“Well, I was also not rushing, and that maybe includes not rushing to talk about reasons why we hate our lives. Why can’t we just enjoy this for the simplicity of our amazing chemistry?” Dean asked, slightly annoyed.

“Dean, I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you-”

“Not this second, but you want to,” Dean countered.

“Dean,” Cas pleaded. “This is not what I meant. I was talking about _myself_.”

Dean took a moment to unwind and regain his composure. He knew he didn’t need to be so defensive, he just didn’t know how to prevent it. This is why he wasn’t planning on anything; the last person he bore his soul to just let him loose after a three year commitment. What was keeping Castiel from doing the same?

“I’m sorry, I just…don’t like heavy talk,” Dean stated. “I’m tired, I’ll talk to you soon.” Castiel nodded awkwardly, looking guilty and hurt, and Dean felt bad about causing it. “Hey, we’re fine, please don’t worry. I was just caught off guard.” He kissed Cas’s hand again and made his way out the car and towards the house.

He entered his bedroom, collapsed on the bed, and sighed heavily. He knew this would probably come sooner or later. He and Lisa didn’t have the deep emotional heart or heart chats.He was the strong, sexy handyman of the house and she was the perfect wife-to-be. Maybe that was why they failed, but if Dean had been open and honest from the start, and started talking about all the ways he felt less-than, they likely would have ended much sooner.

People didn’t want to know about their partners flaws, did they? Wasn’t everyone already looking for reasons to run? Did Castiel expect him to just hand those on a silver platter?

Maybe relationships were only for perfect people, like Sam and Jessica. He wondered what they were doing right. Sam left Dean and their dad too soon to get truly messed up, probably. He wasn’t there for the worst of it, like Dean was.


	7. The Past

The first half of the week was silent; aside from ‘Good Morning’ texts, his conversations with Cas over text were light, safe. They didn’t flirt, and they weren’t making any plans. As much as it hurt Dean to not be close with Cas, he was utterly afraid getting any closer would hurt more.

But when he went to bed at night, and he looked at the untouched _Hearts of Iron_ book on his nightstand, he told himself that he would need to act more bravely if he wanted any kind of authentic long-term happiness.

When Thursday rolled around and it. Was time to take his hour long lunch, Dean drove off around the block to Castiel’s library. He carried his two completed books inside and made his way to the front desk and rung the service bell.

“I’ll be right here!” Castiel’s voice announced from the admin room. Dean took a deep breath and nervously tapped on the wooden frame. Castiel emerged from the room and paused curiously when he saw Dean standing there.

“Dean?” Castiel said as he approached. A small smile formed, but the man was visibly nervous and concerned. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Cas,” Dean replied. “I, uh, just wanted to return these before you closed.”

Castiel gave him a curious look and glanced at the two books. “Please tell me you’re not only here to return books,” he stated as he approached Dean closer. They were face to face now, Castiel having left the booth to be on Dean’s side. They were close enough to make the world’s easiest kiss. “I would be very hurt if you came here only for the books. So this is me, with vulnerability, asking you please, say you’re here for me.”

Dean grabbed Cas’s hands and held them both to his chest. He leaned his forehead to press his against Castiel’s. “Of course I’m here for you, Cas.”

Cas physically let go of the tension he was holding and Dean kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry for being an ass.”

“I’m sorry for putting-”

“No-” Dean interrupted, repositioning the both of them so Dean could look deeply into his crush’s deep blue eyes. “You did absolutely nothing wrong. We were trying to have a conversation about boundaries, and I panicked and made it about myself because I was afraid.”

Cas looked at Dean intensely, and Cas must have seen the fear and sadness in Dean’s eyes. “Whenever I fucking try to have an honest conversation, it all goes to shit every time. The people I care most about throw me away without a second thought because they decide I am not perfect enough for them. When Lisa found out I was bisexual, she used it as a convenient excuse to throw away three years of love. She no longer was interested in working to resolve problems to make a better life together for Ben, she just threw me out. And you want to know the reason I didn’t tell her in the first place? Or the reason I first left Lawrence?”

Castiel just continued to look at Dean with all of his focus and attention. It made Dean feel like he was under a microscope or spotlight; his heart was racing and he was so afraid. He was on trial right now, and Castiel was the judge and jury, determining whether or not Dean was worthy of his love and respect.

“Sam and Dad fought all the time, so Dad was always so angry. I always had to do whatever I could to keep the peace. I did everything my dad always wanted, no questions asked. I had to be the perfect son. Sammy ran off to college instead of helping with the family business. Fuck what I wanted to do. When Dad got sick, I had to be the one to take care of him and run the business. When he got worse, we needed to sell the business to take care of his medical bills. I could have used it to go to college or something and finally start living my own life, but what was my life except to serve on my father’s behalf?”

Dean sniffled and stepped a few paces away to keep Cas from seeing him crying. He fought as hard as he could to keep the tears at bay; and for the most part, he succeeded, but a few broke loose anyways. He wiped the droplets from his eyes and cleared his throat before turning back to Cas.

“I was visiting my father in the hospital.” Dean explained. “The news was on the TV in his room. They had just announced gay marriage was legalized. Dad groans and says ‘Turn that shit off.’”

Castiel winced, as if he was flinching, as if he were there No doubt he had his own instances of homophobia or discrimination to relate to. “I got defensive and I ask him why. He turns to me and says ‘I don’t want to see this fag shit.’ I told him right then and there; ‘I like guys and girls, so there’s a fifty percent chance my wedding could be two dudes!”

Dean’s hand curled up into a fist and he leaned on the wooden counter of the library. He was less sad, and more angry now, and he was sure Castiel could see it. “That really set him off. He starts shouting at me then, and says something like, ‘I didn’t raise any goddamn queer. I’m on my fucking death bed and you have the fucking audacity to hurt me further and make something all about you? You should have kept it to yourself and let me die in peace.’”

Castiel looked so concerned and he approached Dean slowly and started slowly rubbing his back to comfort him. “I’m so sorry, Dean. Please tell me that wasn’t the last memory of your father,” Cas said hopefully.

Dean chuckled, but it wasn’t happily. It was one of those things where everything is going wrong and your body forces out a weak, pathetic laugh because the situation is so terrible it’d nearly be comical if it were fiction. “Not only was that my last memory of him, it gets better!” he replied in an ironic sing-song tone. “My last words to him when I was stepping out of the room were ‘Well, if the thought of having a faggot son are killing you, I hope you flatline soon.’”

Castiel pulled Dean in for a hug, and it surprised Dean. “Why are you hugging me? I just announced I told my dying dad I wanted him to die faster, and you’re hugging me?”

“Yes,” Castiel said. “That’s exactly what I am doing.”

“Why?” Dean asked.

Castiel let go, but still had his hands on Dean’s arms. “Because you’re not bad like you make yourself out to be, because you’re a human being. Your father hurt you deeply in one of the worst ways imaginable, and you reacted in response to your hurt. That is _normal_. He was a leader, a role model to you, and he treated you terribly in that moment. You don’t need to hate yourself for that.”

“Well, it’s a little hard not to,” Dean said. “Even if not for what I said, in my dad’s dying breath he told me he hated me. What do I do with that?”

“You grieve,” Cas replied. “And then you do what you can to move on. You learn how to rank validation from your brother, Bobby, other loved ones higher than your father. You have so many people who love you, Dean, and they matter more than a father who didn’t appreciate what a wonderful, dedicated son he had.”

Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’s. “It’s not that easy, Cas.”

“I never said it was,” Castiel replied. “It’s going to be difficult, but for your own sake, you cannot let this eat at you forever.”

Dean let out a heavy sigh, he was so emotionally exhausted right now, he couldn’t think about returning to work. It was a slow day, he wasn’t really needed at the auto shop. He took out his phone and called Bobby.

“What’s up?” Bobby nonchalantly asked.

“Hey, I’m not feeling too hot. I was wondering if you’d be ok with me heading home early. I’ll make up the missing hours Saturday morning,” Dean said.

“Don’t bother on Saturday, just head home, don’t worry about your paycheck, son,” Bobby said.

Dean smiled softly. “Thanks, Bobby, I appreciate it.” He hung up the phone and turned to Cas. “Are you able to get away with closing the library early?”

Cas gave him an intrigued expression. “What did you have in mind?”

Dean grabbed both of Castiel’s hands and looked into his eyes. “Come home with me. No sex or anything like that, just lay down with me. I don’t want to be alone right now, and I’ve missed you.”

Castiel nodded slowly, keeping his eyes transfixed on Dean. “Okay,” he agreed. “I can do that.”

“That you,” Dean replied softly, gently kissing Cas’s hands. “I’ll meet you outside.”

Dean left the library and waited for Cas to close down his duties and lock up, along with putting a sign on the door that they closed early for the day. They made their way to Dean’s house; luckily Jess just left for work so they didn’t have to worry about being disturbed. Dean took Cas’s hand and lead Cas to his bedroom.

Dean would have wanted more from Cas, under certain circumstances, but right now, none of that was necessary. Dean slipped off his shoes, and Cas did the same. Dean collapsed on the bed and watched as Castiel took off his trench coat and suit blazer. He’d be lying if he wasn’t feeling partially seduced right now.

“Don’t give me that look,” Castiel said with a playful smile. “This was supposed to be a no funny business arrangement.”

“No funny business,” Dean repeated as he held up his hand and three of his fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

“Were you even a scout?” Castiel asked as he climbed into Dean’s bed slowly, only partially hovering over him.

Dean let out a small, sexually frustrated groan as he gently grabbed Cas’s tie, letting it slide through his fist instead of tightening his grip and pulling Cas towards him. “I’m resisting the urge to make a joke about ropes and knots right now.”

Castiel laughed and kissed Dean’s forehead, collapsing at Dean’s side to reduce the opportunity for sexual tension. Dean rolled over to have his back at Cas, and Cas wrapped his arm around Dean.

Dean was thankful Cas couldn’t see how largely he was dorkishly grinning. Like a school boy with a pathetic crush, this small interaction made Dean happy beyond comparison.

“You’re a good man, Castiel Kline,” Dean said peacefully as he drifted to sleep. If he felt Castiel tense up and his heartrate pick up, he surely must have imagined it.


	8. The Favor & The Dinner

Cas must have snuck out when Dean was sleeping, and while Dean couldn’t blame the man, he sort of wished he could have woken up in Cas’s arms. He looked over at his phone and saw a text from Cas that read, “Sorry to leave you early, I needed to head home. I truly hope to see you again soon. There’s more we should talk about, but it can wait.” Dean wondered what it could be, but it _was_ Cas’s turn to start opening up about stuff next.

He returned back to work the next day and offered Jack and Garth longer lunch breaks to make up for him missing out on work the day before. They were appreciative, and Dean was in the best mood he had been in all week because he and Cas made it out of that weird funk.

He headed home and started cooking dinner for Sam and Jessica. He figured he should do slightly more to help out around the house than he had been. He hadn’t cooked dinner since arriving to Angel City; Ben and Lisa were the last ones to taste his cooking. He thought about maybe having Cas over and cooking him a nice little dinner for just the two of them; he could even light a candle for the table. However, Sam and Jessica’s presence might make it a little weird.

He didn’t know where Castiel lived yet, not that he was rushing to see his place just yet. He wasn’t sure if Cas lived with Jack or any of his siblings. They could both use some more privacy if the time for romance ever came, but his brother and sister-in-law would be less awkward than a full house which may or may not have included one of his employees.

Sam didn’t arrive until eight at night, and the man looked exhausted. He kicked his shoes off and just left them in the middle of the room, which Jess wouldn’t like. “Everything okay?”

“My boss is being a total dick,” Sam replied. “He let his stupid ego get to him in the courtroom and set our case back, and now expects me to clean up his mess because ‘clearly I am not best suited for this case’,” he mocked with a bad British accent. “He’s been doing the bare minimum and overworking me. Like, he’s rich enough and the firm makes enough he can retire early or something and bring on another lawyer. I’m glad your Novak isn’t as bad as mine.”

“My what?” Dean asked. He had accidentally zoned out mid-rant as he watched TV in the living room, and Sam was all the way in the kitchen, so the distance made it hard to hear.

“Did you cook for us?” Sam asked, getting distracted from the conversation at hand. “Your timing couldn’t be better. Cooking was the last thing I wanted to do today, thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome!” Dean shouted.

“How _is_ Castiel?” Sam asked.

“He’s good,” Dean said. “Things seem like they’re getting more serious than I was expecting or planning, but he kind of makes the risk worth it.”

Sam chuckled as he popped the top off a bottle of beer and scooped up a plate of pasta from the pot on the stove. “Well, I am really glad he’s a better Novak than mine.”

“A better what?” Dean asked from the living room.

“Turn the TV down!” Sam shouted back.

Dean pressed the down button on the remote a few times. “What were you saying?”

“It wasn’t important,” Sam said as he took a bite out of his food. “You did a good job, Dean.”

“Thank you,” Dean replied as he continued to watch TV.

It was Friday again, two weeks until Christmas Day. Dean was off of work for the week, and he and Cas were making plans to see each other tomorrow night. The thought of seeing Cas had him excited.

Even when he and Lisa were in their honeymoon phase, Dean wasn’t sure if he got _this_ excited to see her. He looked forward to sex, and time with her was better than time alone, but she didn’t really excite him the way Cas did.

He was too busy with his Christmas shopping to begin reading his final book from Cas, but he was excited to start it soon.

He had just gotten home and was trying to unwind with a bottle of beer with Sam when Dean’s phone began to ring. He fished his phone out of his pocket, expecting it to be from Castiel, but he was surprised to see it from Jessica.

“Hey, Jess, what’s up?” Dean asked, earning a perplexed look from Sam.

“Hey, Dean,” Jess said on the other line. She seemed very stressed and emotional on the other line. “I need a _huge_ favor! My car isn’t starting, and I don’t know what to do here. I am freaking out! Can you please come to the hospital and help me out?”

“No problem, Jess, we’ll be right there,” Dean replied as he hung up. “Jes’s car won’t start, we gotta go help her out.”

“Why didn’t she call me instead?” Sam asked.

“You’re not the mechanic in the family,” Dean replied with a proud tone.

They arrived at the hospital in about twenty minutes. They were fortunate to have such a large hospital conveniently outside of town. They texted Jess that they were at her car; she had waited inside the hospital to keep warm.

She came outside and handed Dean the keys so he could get to work on the car. He popped the hood of her car and started to get to work. He diagnosed the problem fairly quickly and was repairing it diligently.

A red headed woman made her way over to Jessica’s car midway through Dean’s repair. “So you got the cavalry to arrive after all? I’m glad you didn’t get stranded out here,” she said.

“Gotta love my boys,” Jessica said. “Dean, this is Anna Milton, Castiel’s sister,” Jessica announced.

“ _Oh_ ,” she said with an intrigued expression. “ _You’re_ the infamous Winchester that Castiel can’t stop talking about.”

He smiled wider than he would have liked to, but it meant a lot to hear Castiel was apparently telling his siblings about him. “Apparently so,” he said as he reached a hand out to greet her. She shook happily. “What sorts of things has he said?”

She gave him a mysterious, playful look in response. “Well it’s no fun if I tell you. Castiel would also probably hurt me if I spilled.”

“That juicy, huh?” Dean asked playfully. She playfully shrugged, as if she had no idea what Dean was talking about. “Cas mentioned a lot of siblings, but e hasn’t gotten into detail about all of you, so tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I’m a doctor here with Jessica, and when I’m not working, I am pretty much watching rom-coms,” she said.

“What about husband or kids?” Dean asked innocently.

Anna let out a small laugh. “I’m very single.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dean apologized. “Your last name was different than Jack and Cas’s so I assumed wrong.”

“No problem, it’s got to be confusing since all three of us have different last names,” she said.

“Wait, Cas and Jack don’t have the same name?” Dean asked.

“No,” Anna replied curiously. “Jack took his mother’s last name, Kline because his father Lucifer is an asshat. Castiel and I had the last name Novak, but I changed it.”

“Novak? Like the family that owns half the town, Novak!?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“Precisely why I changed it,” Anna said. “It has a lot of weight to it. Did you really not know?”

“Dean, we had a whole conversation about this yesterday,” Sam replied.

“What? No we didn’t!” Dean stated. He was visibly floored; no wonder Cas seemed all higher-than-thou and fancy, he _was_ because he was some rich heir to Angel City’s family dynasty.

“Please, don’t let that change anything,” Anna said. “I am _positive_ you know a more authentic Castiel than the rest of us.”

“Right,” Dean said hesitantly. There were too many thoughts in his head, but he needed to focus on Jessica’s car right now. “Well, it was nice meeting you, I need to get back to-”, he gestured at the car, and Anna seemed to take the hint.

“Right, nice meeting you too,” she said nervously. “See you soon, Jessica. Goodnight, Sam.”

“Goodnight,” Sam stated as she headed away towards her own car.

Dean buried his head back to the intricate machines inside of Jes’s car and began to finish his repairs.

“I’m sure Castiel didn’t realize-”

“Please do not distract me, dealing with some dangerous machinery here,” Dean ordered, interrupting his brother, knowing it was a lit because they were talking casually before, and all they do at work in the garage is chat while they repair.

Sam and Jess obliged and gave Dean the silence he requested. He wrapped everything up a few minutes later and successfully got the car started. “She’s all good to go.” His smile was forced, and they could tell. Dean was not happy at the moment with Castiel, and it was all he could think about.

“Thank you, Dean,” Jess said as positively as she could. The air was still thick with tension, and right now, Dean wanted to be alone.

“You two head home, I’ll catch up later,” Dean said.

Sam looked like he wanted to ask questions, but he knew his brother well enough to drop them. “Okay,” Sam agreed. “Take all the time you need”

Dean entered his own car alone and left Sam to ride back with Jessica. He sighed deeply, thinking about this news. Why didn’t Cas come clean? He had definitely called him Castiel Kline, and Cas hadn’t corrected him.

He wanted to think about this logically, but at the same time, thinking was the last thing he wanted to do. He made his way all the way back into town and headed to The Roadhouse.

It was busy, like most Friday nights. Bobby was not there that night, and neither was Garth. Even if Jack was here, he wouldn’t be the right person to discuss this with. He made his way straight to the bar, and Jo made her way over to him.

“Hey there, stranger,” she said with a faint smile. “Business or pleasure?”

“What?”

“Are you here to drink and forget something or are you here to get out on a Friday night?” she clarified.

“The former,” Dean said roughly.

Jo made a _tsk_ noise and gave a look that was probably meant to be empathetic, but just looked like indifference. “Figured as much. What do you want?”

Dean raised an eyebrow at her curiously. “Your customer service skills suck.”

She gave a knowing smirk and leaned forward, propping her elbows on the bar. “I haven’t had any complaints. I also kinda own this place, so there’s that.”

“I thought Ellen owned it,” Dean jovially replied.

“Hence why I said _kinda_ ,” she countered with a smile. Dean chuckled; he liked her attitude a lot. He could potentially see her as a good friend down the road perhaps.

“I’ll take whiskey, please,” he requested.

She got up and poured him a glass of whiskey and brought it back over to him. “This one will be on the house if you tell me what’s wrong.”

Dean looked around at the busy bar. There was one other bartender aside from her and Ellen. “You gotta be pretty busy. I don’t want you to waste time on me.”

“I highly doubt any time spent talking to you would be wasted,” she reassured. “Come on, shoot.”

Dean sighed, giving into Jo’s pressure. “I found out Castiel is actually Castiel _Novak_ , and from what I’ve heard, the Novaks partially run this town. There’s no way we have any shared struggles or histories. I thought he was just out of my league, but no I know he’s from a whole different caste system. He’s not prim and proper because he’s a nerd, he’s prim and proper because he’s a rich kid with an elite upbringing.”

“Did you talk to him about this or is this all speculation?” Jo asked.

Dean sighed with defeat at the question. “Speculation, I just found out an hour ago. What do you know about the Novaks and the MacLeods?”

Jo made a face as if she was about to give bad news. “Crowley MacLeod sucks, Lucifer Novak sucks, Balthazar Novak sucks, Gabriel Novak is an annoying ass so therefore he sucks,” she listed.

“I think I have my an-”

“BUT-” Jo clarified, reclaiming her sentence from Dean’s interruption. “Castiel Novak from what I can tell is a nice and friendly guy. A little awkward for my tastes, but I’m not exactly his type either.”

Dean drank all of his whiskey in a single swig and set the glass down and gestured for another. “I just don’t know, Jo,” Dean replied.

“Well, I’m here to give you drinks until you do,” she said as she refilled his glass.

Dean drank his misery away the best he could that night until Jo called Sam to pick Dean up. Dean was surprised to see Sam come to the bar, not knowing Jo had called him, and his brother helped to escort him home.

Dean awoke the next morning with a violent desire for water and a splitting headache. The light coming into his room was too intense and he tried to shut the blinds by not opening his eyes nor moving anything other than his arm. Needless to say, he wasn’t accomplishing much.

“Fuuuuuck,” he groaned as he slowly got out of bed to reach the stick that operates the blinds, rapidly turning it with his palms to have the blinds tilt and prevent the light from entering the room.

He collapsed back into bed, which he decided was a bad idea because the rush made him feel nauseous and it took him at least ten minutes to recover from that queasy feeling in his stomach, and it took another twenty for him to feel like he could leave the room.

He grabbed a pair of sunglasses that were on his dresser and thanked whatever deity that was listening for having them somewhere accessible so he didn’t need to hunt them down , and made his way out into the living room.

“Someone’s alive,” Sam replied as Dean slowly walked through the living room to the kitchen. “Still in the clothes from yesterday.”

“The thought of putting my arms above my head right now causes pain by itself,” Dean grumbled. “Did you bring me home?”

“Yes, your car is still at the bar,” Sam replied.

“Good,” he replied as he opened the fridge. The light inside nearly blinded him and he winced away from the blinding beam emitting from the chilly torture device.

“Fuck,” he groaned again as he blindly reached for the filtering water jug so he could get a mug from the cabinet and pour himself a glass of water.

“So, are you feeling about better about the Cas thing?” Sam asked.

Dean chugged the glass of water while holding up his pointer finger to pause Sam until he was properly hydrated. When the glass was empty, he took a final gulp and vocalized a refreshed gasp. “It’s none of your concern, Sammy,” he said as he continued to pour a second glass.

“Dean, don’t do anything stupid. Castiel is an amazing guy,” Sam argued.

“An amazing guy who lied to me about who he was, and probably thinks of me as his poor little pet project,” Dean replied.

“That is so far fetched that I would bet money on how wrong you are,” Sam replied.

“Sammy, I’ve been here like, three and a half weeks. I shouldn’t be rushing into bed for the first pair of blue eyes I see. I need to remain single for a while. I was engaged last month, I need some Dean time,” he insisted.

Sam sighed defeatedly. “Does Castiel make you happy?”

Dean gulped more water down before turning his head down to look at Sam. “He _did_. Past tense.”

“Dean, just talk to him and give him a chance. Let him explain or apologize and count this as strike one only.”

“Why? Why do you care so much about this?” Dean asked. He was getting angrier, more irritated. This intervention was the last thing he needed since he was still recovering from an awful hangover.

“Because you’re visibly _happy_ with him, Dean. All I want is for you to be happy!” Sam exclaimed.

“And you know what won’t cause happiness, Sammy?” He retorted loudly. “Rushing into another goddamn relationship with someone who will never see me good enough, or their equal, and decide to leave me again after I’ve invested my fucking heart and soul into them!”

“You don’t know that’s going to happen!”

“For Christ’s sake, Sammy! I barely know the guy! He barely knows me! I didn’t even know his fucking last name!”

Jessica’s bedroom door slammed open and she angrily stomped down the hall all the way to the living room. “What the fuck is going on!?” she screeched. “It’s like barely nine AM! You know I need to sleep in for my shift.”

“Sorry, Jess,” Dean sincerely apologized. “I was just headed out anyways.”

Dean walked his way to the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive to get him downtown to the bar to pick up his Impala. Sam’s words got to him. Was he overreacting? Cas did make him immensely happy, but what if it was misguided? He was likely just latching onto anything that made him remotely ok since he was so depressed from the breakup.

He weighed the pros and cons of everything the entire situation during the bus ride. He arrived at his destination and made his way off the bus. The bar was still a bit of a hike, but he was at least on Main Street.

It was a clear, cool December morning. His jacket was just insulted enough to feel a crisp coolness but not overheat. He took in a deep breath of fresh air. It was a beautiful day to walk outside _with Castiel_. He winced as he tried to shake the intrusive thought from his mind. Wistful romantic thoughts about Cas were the last thing he needed or wanted.

Fate wasn’t so kind, though. As soon as he approaches the side of his car, his phone was ringing. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. “Cas Kline” it read. _Figures_.

He wasn’t a complete asshole; he couldn’t ignore the man on this. He answered the phone and held it up to his ear. “Hi, Cas,” he greeted dryly. He’d never answered the phone this coldly for Cas before.

“Hi Dean.” Cas’s voice was equally irregular, but whereas Dean’s was indifference, Castiel’s was nervousness. “Can we meet somewhere and talk this afternoon or tonight?”

Dean just nodded his head. Castiel knew something was amiss. “You spoke to Anna, didn’t you?”

There was silence on the other line for just a brief moment. “Yeah, she said she ran into you. She stated there….may have been a misunderstanding and some concerns about our family.”

Dean let out an ironic chuckle and leaned against his car. “Yeah.”

His comment didn’t give Cas much to work with, and he felt partially bad, but he wasn’t in the headspace for this right now.

“Alright,” Castiel said awkwardly, breaking the silence. “Do you want to come to my apartment? I can cook us dinner.”

“No dinner,” Dean said. “Just a drink.”

Cas sighed faintly on the other line. Dean knows he wasn’t making it particularly easy, but he didn’t want Cas to put too much effort into something, and he didn’t want to be trapped mid-meal if he wanted to leave early. “Fine, if that’s what you would like.”

Dean shut his eyes at the guilt tripping. That was his least favorite phrase. Lisa used it all the time for the most minor of disagreements. “I’ll text you my address, just give me a heads up whenever you’d like to come over. I’ll close the library at five.”

“Okay,” Dean replied. “I’ll see you tonight.” He was sincere. Whether he called it quits or stayed, he wanted to make a decision by tonight. He just knew he wanted to make it in peace, and without the interference of Sam, Jess, or Charlie.

He went to the diner and had a long breakfast. Meg remembered him, and remembered he wasn’t in the mood to flirt- especially less so this occasion. He annoyed himself when he remembered the diner is where he first saw Castiel. God, he just couldn’t shake that man for the life of him, could he?

He had nothing to keep himself busy, and he felt like this town was suffocating him. He made his way to Bobby’s Auto Shop and let himself in. Some unpaid overtime was the perfect distraction to keep his mind off of things for a few hours.

Repairing cars was like doing a puzzle; it could be peaceful and relaxing. He didn’t care for actual puzzles, but Dean was sure it was similar. Knowing about cars and how to repair them made him feel smart/ Some people had no clue what to do to keep their cars in good maintenance, and it was the one thing he could do right.

He finished the car by himself with a few hours. They wouldn’t have anything to do on Monday now, but he was sure Jack and Garth wouldn’t mind an easy morning.

Cas would be arriving to his apartment soon if he didn’t already. Dean shot him a text that said “on the way”, despite it taking him a while to build up the courage to make his way to his car. Once inside, it took him a while to start it too. He just sat there with his eyes closed, wondering what the fuck his life had become and how he kept getting himself into these situations.

He opened his GPS on his phone to navigate him to the address Castiel provided him and started the car. He hadn’t been to the side of town Castiel lived in, but it was pretty nice; it wasn’t too different than Sam’s area, although since Sam and Jessica both had prestigious careers, this was likely a prestigious area too.

He didn’t see any mansions in the area, but he knew if Castiel was living modestly, it was by his own choice. He finally arrived at the apartment building, and it couldn’t have had more than six units. He probably owned the building and was the landlord.

He made his way to apartment six, which Castiel advised. He nervously knocked on the door and took a deep breath as he waited. Castiel opened the door within a few moments. He was dressed down in a casual T-shirt and jeans. As sexy as he looked dressed up, since he was always in a fancy suit _this_ looked like he was trying to make the impression, and maybe he was.

“Come on is,” Cas said neutrally, aware of the tone for the evening. He lead the way in, giving Dean a look at his ass. God, it looked amazing in those jeans. Why did he have to make this so difficult? 

He looked around as Cas made his way to the kitchen. The walls were a pretty sky blue, and he had a few artistic photographs on the wall. There was a house plant in the two corners on each side of the balcony door. There was a couch, but no TV; it would appear he got his entertainment from the black bookshelf.

“Does sizing up my apartment put you at ease?” Castiel asked. Dean wasn’t sure if it was passive aggressive or legitimately concerned about their relationship.

“I don’t know,” Dean replied. “But it’s nice.”

“Thank you,” he replied dryly as he opened the fridge. “I didn’t have much time, all I have is wine.”

Dean smiled softly, although he wasn’t in the mood to smile, but he couldn’t help it around Cas. The thought of Cas sitting in his cute loveseat couch, reading a book while holding a glass of wine was really cute. “That’ll be fine.”

Cas poured themselves two glasses of wine and brought them to his small round dining table. It had four chairs, but there was no way four people could all fit full plates on it. “I’m not sure where you’d like me to begin,” Castiel said.

Dean took a sip of his drink as he looked at Cas, waiting for him to begin. “I didn’t know that you didn’t know who I was. I partially assumed someone would have told you, but I will admit, I sort of wished you didn’t. My whole life, everyone has known me and my family, even if I’ve never met them. And I really liked you, so…I suppose I just appreciated you getting to know me for me for once, just as I got to know you for who you are. You’d be surprised what kind of a privilege that is and how easily it can be taken for granted.”

Dean set his glass down and sighed. “I know. My whole life people have taken one look at me and assessed me as ‘the poor boy’, ‘the outsider’, ‘the simpleton, uneducated fiancée’. No matter how hard I’ve ever tried to prove myself on my own, nobody has ever cared to get to know me.”

“I care, Dean,” Cas insisted. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do, is get to know you. I like you a lot, Dean.”

“I don’t know if you’ll ever really _know_ me,” Dean replied. “You might be able to learn and memorize facts about who I am, but you’ll never really _know_ me because we come from two separate worlds.”

“If you let me stick around, you may realize we’re not so different, or realize the differences that you are emphasizing are actually very minor,” Cas said.

“I just don’t know if I can risk something like this again,” Dean said softly.

Cas reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand. “There is always risk, and it’s terrifying. I’ve had my share of failed relationships, but we have to _try_ to put ourselves out there. I _really_ want to see where this goes with you.”

Dean sees the pleading, hopeful look in Castiel’s eyes. Dean is hurting Cas, just as Lisa had hurt him. He wants to take it back, he honestly does. He thought coming here would solidify his desire to end things with Castiel, but seeing him just reinforced his desire for him. He wanted nothing more than to take Cas to the couch, keep him in his arms, and kiss him deeply.

But he felt guilty for hurting Cas this way. It wasn’t fair when Lisa did it to him, and he couldn’t bear to do it to Cas now. Dean couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t hurt Cas again once they get more invested; and he _would_ , he would get more invested. Every second he spent with Castiel he would fall more, and fall harder, and it would be harder to leave whenever the inevitable event that forces them to break up happens, and it _will_ happen. He doesn’t know what it is or when it would be, but he knows deep in his heart that _this_ , as magical as it is between them, was only temporary and it wouldn’t last.

He took his hand away and broke his gaze away from Castiel. “I’m sorry, Cas.” His voice cracked weakly and unevenly. His throat and lungs were straining from the stress building within him. “But I can’t do this. We can’t guarantee we won’t hurt each other further.”

“Dean,” Cas whimpered. “Please don’t do this. Every moment I spend with you is magical. Every day I spend with you would be worth you decided to leave me someday.”

Dean’s face grimaced at his words. “I guess I’m not as strong as you are, Cas. You making that same decision would kill me, and I can’t go through that again.”

He stood up and slowly made his way to the door. “Dean.” Dean pauses momentarily at the door, just to consider if he’s making the right decision.

He has.

“Goodbye, Castiel,” Dean said softly as he left Castiel’s apartment, and leaving Castiel and any notion of him behind with it.


	9. The Cas Chapter

Castiel sat alone in his dining room with his head in his hands and tears in his eyes. Dean had just broken his heart, which he was aware was a ridiculous notion; he had only had it for about three weeks.

Maybe it was the old soul in him that let him fall so deeply. They were both in their thirties, and Castiel was looking to settle down. He didn’t have reservations anymore about commitments or ‘wanting to play the field’. There was also the incredible magnetism between them that drew Castiel in so strongly. He’s met his share of cocky playboys and stunning strangers, but Dean was different. Dean should have been different.

He took Dean’s partially drunken wine glass and poured the remnants into his. The light hit the glass in a way where Cas could see the film left behind from Dean’s lips. The last thing Dean’s lips in this apartment were this glass, and not him.

He set it down and Cas proceeded to take generous swigs from his overfull glass. He liked being a connoisseur of wines. He’d only fill glasses with the appropriate amount of ounces, waft the aroma, and swirl the liquid around in his mouth to taste all the different notes as he sat comfortably on his loveseat and curled up with a blanket and a book. Dean would probably find him pretentious and elitist for doing so, but he sure wasn’t doing that now.

He set the glass down and sighed, clearing his throat from the vapors of all the alcohol he just chugged. He made the mistake of telling Anna Dean was coming over. She’d ask him all about it tomorrow; he wasn’t looking forward to telling her that he failed, and that Dean had rejected him.

Dumped him.

Could this even constitute as a dumping? They were never official. _They never had the chance to be._

He finished the remainder of his glass in a second sitting, impressively. _Depressively._ He didn’t want to be in this kitchen area any longer. One bad memory of a man he barely knew, and his living space was tainted with negativity. He managed to get the wine glasses in the sink and rinsed at least. He wanted them out of sight and out of mind; better to prolong his misery of the memory now then have it re-emerge at the next sight of them. He tucked them away in the cabinet and made his way to his bathroom for a hot shower.

He shrugged his clothes off, trying to not wonder if Dean liked them or not, because why would that even matter now? He stepped into the shower and let the hot water cascade on him. He let the water flow on his face instead of his tears and he just focused all of his attention on the shower, or at least he tried to.

He had two different body washes in his shower; honey bourbon and ice water. Dean liked bourbon, and he usually smelled slightly similar. Due to the lack of variety with most men’s products, bourbon was a popular cliché. He didn’t want to think about Dean right now anyways.

He opted for the clean, refreshing ice water scent. It was less perfumed and more subtle. Castiel didn’t have anyone to impress right now anyways. He just wanted to cleanse his mind for the evening.

He stepped out once he was clean and dried off. He was hoping he would feel like a new man, but a hot shower was just a plumbing construct, not some magical machine that would fix everything for him.

Castiel wasn’t very tired, but he wanted the day to be over with. He popped a melatonin pill, which he only used on nights he was so stimulated from a good book, followed it with a large glass of water, and got into bed naked.

What would Dean have thought about his bed? Would it have soft and sensual to spend hours with mixed limbs, combined bodies, rolling each other over all night? Would he have slept comfortably in it to wake up softly with Castiel in the mornings in each other’s arms, too comfortable to leave?

Cas winced at his own questions. He wanted his brain to be shut off for the whole night. He turned on his white noise machine by his bedside and practiced his Zen breathing techniques to lull himself into a state of tranquility so that he could slip into slumber and not have to think about his broken heart.

Sunlight filtered into the room and Cas slowly opened his eyes. It was Sunday morning, and he could hear a bird or two outside his windows chirping happily. _At least they had something to be happy about._ He got out of bed and slipped into some casual clothes. He didn’t want to dress fancy today. He liked appearing professional at work, and he liked the confidence boost smart attire provided. He didn’t care today, though.

He grabbed his keys and his trench coat and headed outside to his car. He was in the mood to go to Bela’s Diner. He tried to get breakfast there once a week, or at the very least, every other. Sure, pancakes were quick and easy to make himself, and it would have been faster than driving all the way to the diner, but he didn’t have to clean up as many pans this way.

He entered the diner and the bell announced his arrival. There was one other customer currently, and Meg glanced his way to see who came in.

“Well, well, well, it’s Castiel,” Meg said. “Have a seat anywhere, babe.”

He got to the counter and sat, grabbing a menu from a close by stack, even though the menu never changed.

She approached behind the counter and poured Castiel a cup of coffee. “Pancakes, sausage, two scrambled eggs?” she asked, knowing his order well enough from his frequent visits.

“A side of French toast as well, please,” Castiel requested.

Meg gave him a perplexed expression. “Pancakes _and_ French Toast? You’ve never changed your order _ever_ and now you’re getting two entrees.”

“I’m…in the mood for sweets,” Cas said.

Her curious expression grew. “You’re not a _sweets_ kind of guy,” she commented.

Castiel gave an exasperated expression. “I didn’t realize I was under a fucking investigation for breakfast,” he snapped.

The other patron looked shocked and disturbed at the outburst, not that Castiel could see behind him. Most customer service workers would hate Castiel for his rude outburst, but Meg just laughed hysterically as if she heard the best joke in the world.

“My apologies,” Castiel said. “I’m not myself today.”

“You’re definitely not,” she said as she ran the ticket to the back quickly before coming back. “I’d ask guy problems, but there’s no guys in this…..-”. A lightbulb clicked in her head and she turned to him with a piqued interest. “That new guy. The…the…Winchester brother!”

She was eager and amused and Castiel was visibly annoyed. “I fucking hate this small town,” he griped. “How could you possibly have known that?”

“Well, the last time you were here, so was he and I _totally_ caught him checking you out when you left, so I told him he should check out your little library. Did you show him your Dewey Decimal System?”

Cas gave her an unamused look for her terrible line. “Great. So I got my heart broken because _you_ set me up for failure.”

“Oh please,” she replied negatively. “I doubt I am the only one who told him we have a fucking library. Forgive me for tying you laid with the hottest new neighbor this town’s ever had.”

“Yeah, well,” Castiel replied bitterly. “He’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”

“He hit it and quit it?” She asked as empathetically as she could, although it was the furthest thing Castiel could consider an empathetic question.

“No, we never even got that far. We just got too attached feelings wise and that scared him.”

Meg rolled her eyes in disgust. “This is why you keep things physical only. Liking people only ends in ruin.”

“You sound just like him, which is what I am avoiding. Can I have the rest of my breakfast in non-personally invasive silence?” Cas asked, thoroughly done with Meg’s antics.

She raised an eyebrow at him curiously. “Just trying to help an old friend out.” She dipped behind the kitchen to check on Cas’s food. He felt a little bad, but Meg was an instigator and kindness wasn’t her strongest suit.

She brought his food out and he thanked her, trying to smooth things over with her. He doesn’t think she had spat in his food, but he would do what he could to prevent her from being tempted to do it in the future.

The comfort food wasn’t cheering him up as much as he had hoped, but it was delicious, and it did distract him a little bit. He wasn’t one to indulge, but if this experience taught him anything, it was that he needed to do things for himself more often.

He made his way to his car when his phone began to ring. He took it out of his coat pocket and saw that it was from Anna. He sighed, not wanting to deal with his sister right now, and he pressed the ignore button.

He needed more distractions; his apartment was the last place he currently wanted to be. He drove into Lawrence and headed to the Spencer Museum of Art. _Another thing Dean might find pretentious_.

Art had always calmed him when he was feeling low. He refused to ever go on a date here. He wouldn’t allow any guy who may beak his heart to ruin this place for him. He loved trying to see as many intricate details as he could in the paintings. It was too easy to miss at a distance when you were taking in the picture as a whole. It helped him to take his time and not under-appreciate the art.

“Castiel?” A voice asked behind him. He turned to see Charlie Bradbury, and he gave her a small smile.

“Good Morning, Charlie,” he said politely. “Fancy running into you here.”

“Same here,” Cas replied. “I needed to get out of town to clear my head.”

“Oh, so this isn’t a date with Dean?” she asked, looking around for him, expecting him to be just a few feet away.

Castiel sighed with exhaustion. He couldn’t get a fucking break, could he? “Things with Dean and I didn’t work out.”

Charlie winced regrettably. “I’m so sorry, Castiel. I didn’t know. I…just spoke to him the other day and all he could do is gush about you.”

“Well, he changed his mind,” Cas said flatly. He came here to get away from Dean, not talk him about him more.

“The conversation’s dropped. Do you want some company? I get if you want to be alone, but you don’t have to be,” she offered.

“I appreciate it,” Castiel said. “But I’d prefer to be on my own for now.”

Charlie nodded. “No problem, Castiel. Take care.”

“You too, Charlie.”

She headed off on her own and Cas was left to lament on his own. He looked at a painting of a maiden holding a man’s handkerchief over-excitedly, pressing it against her cheek. The piece was titled _Infatuation_. Castiel moved along rather quickly.

The museum distracted him for a good portion of the day, but running into Charlie definitely was a setback in his quest to forget about Dean.

He made it to his apartment when he noticed a familiar car in the residential parking lot. “Damn it,” he said to himself.

He made the way up to his apartment and unlocked the door, opening it up to see a much more annoying red head than Charlie Bradbury.

“Why haven’t you been returning my calls or texts?” Anna asked, sitting on his couch where she had likely waited for him for who knows how many hours.

“Because I do not wish to talk to people right now,” Castiel said as he took off his trench coat and hung it on his coatrack by the door.

Anna grimaced with disappointment. “Damn it,” she said. “He ran?”

“Like the roadrunner,” Castiel replied.

Anna gave him a confused look. “The….gas station?”

Castiel returned the dumfounded expression. “No you idiot; the cartoon bird that always ran away from Wile E. Coyote!”

“Ohhhhh,” she said. “That’s pretty fast. What kind of bird was that supposed to be anyways?”

Castiel felt like he was going to have a goddamn stroke at any moment now. “A road runner!”

“That’s a thing?” She asked.

“ANNA-”. Castiel _never_ raised his voice, but his sister was getting on his last nerve after a very terrible twenty-four hours. “I appreciate you checking in on me, but I _really_ want to be left alone tonight.”

“And skip out on Sunday dinner?” she asked with a heavy surprise.

“Our family is the _last_ group of people I want to see currently,” Castiel insisted.

“Are we allowed to just not show up for family dinner? Has it been done before?” she asked with almost legitimate concern.

“We’ll never know until I find out,” Castiel said as he made his way to his fridge in the desperate search for alcohol. There was still some of the open bottle from last night. _Perfect_. He took it out of his fridge and began to drink from it directly, earning a shocked expression from Anna.

“Okay,” she said. “Yeah, I don’t think I want to leave you alone tonight.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Castiel said.

“You know how Michael gets,” Anna said. “Grin and bear it and the rest of the family will leave you alone for a week. I think I’m the only one that would know about Dean, although Gabriel always seems to know everybody’s business.”

“Exactly, please Anna. He’s already been grilling me the past two weeks about me seeing someone. I don’t want to deal with him,” Castiel pleaded.

“Nobody wants to deal with Gabriel literally ever,” Anan retorted. “But we do it because we are a family. A very suffocating, cancerous family.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Cas growled through his teeth before going back to drinking straight from the bottle.

They arrived at the Novak family mansion promptly at six, as was expected. Four of their siblings moved out of Angel City, and the rest stayed behind and lived in the family home. Anna and Castiel were the only ones who decided they wanted a little space and got their own places.

Castiel glared at the opulent mansion, a product of his family’s dynasty. This would have had Dean run away for sure.

They still had their keys to the family home. Castiel always thought of it as a cruel irony; he’d never truly escape his family. Given the fact that Dean ran away whilst only being remotely connected to his family still, he clearly hasn’t escaped enough.

“Look who’s here! The runaways!” Gabriel announced from the entrance sitting room where he sat with a beer.

“What a surprise,” Anna feigned. “It’s almost like we’re here weekly.”

“The longest running performance in history,” Gabriel teased. “Hello, Cassie.” Gabriel was the only other person who gave Castiel a nickname, other than Dean.

“Gabriel.”

“Oooh, even more uptight and prickly than usual,” Gabriel commented. “I thought you had someone to loosen you up now.”

He gave a smug expression that Castiel wanted to punch and he made his way to the main sitting den after hanging up his coat.

“Good Evening, Castiel, Anna,” one of their housekeepers greeted. That would have been a fun conversation for Dean. The Novaks had multiple housekeepers because the house was so large. Maybe Dean was right, they came from very different worlds. And no matter how much he said he was different, here he was, partaking in the privilege of being a Novak; Sunday dinner prepped by their staff.

“Anna, Castiel,” Michael greeted as he entered, offering them each a hug. He was a hard ass, and a hard man to get along with, but at least friendly at dinner events, which is the only time Castiel would tolerate being near Michael. “It’s good to see you both.”

“It’s good to see everybody,” Anna replied diplomatically.

“How is arranging the winter festival with Rowena going, Mr. Mayor?” Castiel asked.

Michael groaned with annoyance. “You know her, she wants to do bigger and better every year, especially since this is on a vicennial year. I try not to displease her, but I have to draw my line sometimes. What can one do?”

Castiel just nodded, not caring in the slightest. Dean would hate Michael so much. Maybe they could have made fun of Michael behind his back if Dean ever got to meet the family, but that wouldn’t be the case.

Akobel and Naomi were the next two to come downstairs from their bedrooms or the more lively living dens (the ones on the first floor had no television sets as they were for tea parties or refined socialization only).

Unlike Michael and Gabriel, he other siblings did not make any big deal about Castiel and Anna being home because it was a _weekly_ event, but they still cordially said hello. Anna and Jack were the only ones Castiel talked to outside of Sundays for most things. Akobel would occasionally send him a movie suggestion and link to one of his reviews and he’d occasionally talk to Naomi about cool medical findings, but he already had Anna for that.

Anna and Naomi were close, though/ They were the only girls in their family and they both worked at the hospital; the only difference being Anna kept the patients alive and Naomi carved them up after they were dead.

Balthazar arrived late, like he did most nights. He liked to spend most of his time in his law firm working, or avoiding the family. Castiel was very surprised that he _hasn’t_ moved out, but to Balthazar, a full mansion as better than an empty, smaller home Cas supposed.

“Good evening, everyone,” he greeted. He was one of the older siblings, and he was showing it. A long draining life in Angel City has bored him, but family as partially important to him, so he’s stayed, although Cas was sure he’d have more fun in Los Angeles with Amenadiel, which was ironic given that Amenadiel was the most boring sibling.

Zachariah, Raphael, and Jack were the last to come downstairs. Zachariah was in the middle group of siblings, and took over the real estate aspects of the family businesses. About half of the apartment buildings in town were the Novak’s. The one Castiel lived in was _not_.

Raphael was the manager of the Angel City bank, first founded by the Novaks. The MacLeods founded the hospital, the first schools, a larger percentage of the stores, a smaller percentage of the residential real estate but more commercial, and were always the more approachable and sociable town dynasty.

Castiel looked around at the uptight pricks in his family, himself included, and began to loathe everything he saw. He always tried to be aware of his privilege, and he did his best to be charitable, humble, and down to earth, but Dean saw right through that more than likely. The only aspect Dean got wrong was that Cas wasn’t too good for Dean, Dean was too good for him.

“Dinner’s about to be served, everyone,” Michael announced, and they made their way to the dining room.

All of the siblings made their way to the dining room as requested. Michael always took the head of the table. Balthazar, Zachariah, and Raphael were closest to him followed by Naomi, Gabriel, Akobel, and Jack; with Anna and Castiel across from each other at the ends.

Their butler and their chef began to place their plates in front of them, and their wines were poured for them. Castiel had always been uncomfortable with the treatment, but now he was especially so.

“Why the long face, Castiel?” Balthazar asked. “I hear from Samuel Winchester you began seeing his brother and that his brother had been in high spirits as of late. I naturally assume you were as well?”

“I was,” he said flatly. “And then it didn’t work out.”

“My apologies for bringing it up then,” Balthazar said.

“What’d he do?” Jack asked angrily.

“Nothing. We weren’t a match. It doesn’t matter,” Castiel replied as he took a generous drink of his wine, to which all his family would certainly notice. “Let’s drop it.”

Gabriel chuckled to himself. “You had it bad, bro.”

“Gabriel, do not be insensitive to our brother,” Michael ordered. “I’m very sorry, Castiel.”

“I’ll kick his ass at work,” Jack offered.

“You will do no such thing!” Michael ordered.

“It’s fine, Jack. I said let’s drop the conversation. Raphael, any interesting mortgage rate news or Naomi, any potential murders?” Cas pleaded, begging for any type of topic change.

“Don’t answer those,” Michael insisted. His dinners went his way. He would talk about himself if needed, which would likely happen anyways. Almost everyone at this table was pretentious and dull, with the exception of Gabriel who was arrogant and annoying.

“Amenadiel and Uriel said they would be home for Christmas. Gadreel is spending it with his wife’s family this year, and last I heard Lucifer was still alive. We can’t win them all,” Michael stated.

Castiel ignored his family as much as he could for the rest of dinner and tried to drink as much as he could, but was rudely cut off from a third glass by Michael. After losing two hours of his life, Castiel and Anna excused themselves early and bid their goodbyes. Jack volunteered to walk Castiel to his car.

“Are you sure I can’t be an asshole to Dean? I wasn’t crazy about him to start,” Jack stated.

“No, please, it’s not his fault. He’s right to distance himself from our terrible, arrogant family,” Castiel said. He sighed and turned around to look at their family mansion. What was once full of great childhood memories and family pride was now a regretful eyesore. “Do you like living here?”

Jack shrugged and looked non-committal at the question. “I liked my life with my mom. This city’s not exciting, but Michael is paying for my college.”

“It’s your money, too,” Castiel said with a sigh. “I just….don’t want you to turn into any of them, any of _us_ , rather.”

Jack gave him a peculiar look. “I’m not going to. My mom raised me right while she could.”

“Would you be any happier living with me?” Castiel asked.

“Would you?” Jack asked.

Cas mulled the question over, really unsure. He was a mix of emotions this weekend, and wasn’t thinking straight on anything. “I don’t know. I’m just worried about you. It’s a big house, but it’s not filled with much substance.”

“I’m sorry you don’t care for your siblings,” Jack said. “But I’m fine, Castiel. They’re not bad to me, and once my gen eds are done, I’m free.”

Cas nodded. “Maybe that’s what I need after all, a fresh start somewhere else. Maybe your father at least got that right.”

Jack let out a small entertained smile. “Goodnight, Castiel.”

“Goodnight, Jack,” Castiel said as he got in his car. He watched as Jack made his way back into the mansion as he thought over his words. He was content with his boring life here in Angel City, but Dean sparked something adventurous inside of him, and he wasn’t going to find that again here. A small smile grew on his face as he started his car and thought about the possibilities that were out there.


	10. The Hearts of Iron

Dean’s Saturday night and Sunday were completely terrible. He picked up two six packs from the local gas station and drank his weekend away while listening to rock music on his phone.

He didn’t leave, except to grab food from the kitchen, ad what he grabbed was sad; chips and PB & Js. Sam cooked early Sunday night just to tempt Dean into eating something somewhat decent.

Sam and tried to talk to him about it, but he shrugged Sam off all weekend. He was curled in bed when he was too tired from being drunk. He was this exact same way in the motel room he stayed at right after Lisa kicked him out. Two instances in two consecutive months was more than he could bar, but at least this one was his fault. Still, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“I’m so worried about him,” he heard Jess faintly say from the living room when they thought he was asleep. “I just want to do something.”

“He needs to grieve,” Sam said softly.

“We can’t just not do anything,” Jess said, on the verge of crying.

“I’ve been through this once already with Dad. There’s not much we can do right now. I just hope he snaps out of it soon. Dad couldn’t.”

Dean winced in pain from being compared to his father. As if he wasn’t in enough pain already, the comment struck the most sever insult to the intense emotional injury he was nursing.

Sam was right though.

Dean turned to see three beers still left over from his binge weekend. He forced himself out of bed and grabbed the three of them and opened the door to head into the living area. He didn’t care that he was shirtless, in only his boxers right now, and that he didn’t shower all weekend yet, or that Jess was going to see him this way.

“Dean?” Sam asked when he heard Dean coming from down the hall.

Dean ignored him as he headed straight to the kitchen. He fetched the beer bottle opener from the drawer and popped the caps off, dumping all the contents into the sink. Jess and Sam just sat in tense silence as Dean poured. Once those were empty, he loudly dropped all three glass bottles into their recycling bin before taking two bottles of water from the fridge.

“See you in the morning, Sam,” he said as he glared at Sam with the most pissed off expression he could manage while walking past him.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” he said softly as Dean passed, which Dean definitely ignored. Jess had an equally regretful expression, and she went to hug her husband comfortingly after Dean got back to his room.

He chugged the water and took an aspirin in advance, hoping to prevent the worst hangover ever tomorrow. He had slacked too much at work as is by calling that half day. He needed to work diligently, save money, and leave this fucking town.

Monday sucked too. Jack gave him glares all day, and didn’t say a word to Dean. He had to count his blessings though; no words were better than pointed words.

Both of their attitudes weren’t much better on Tuesday either. Dean just had to focus on work though; if he kept his mind busy, he wouldn’t think about Cas at all.

Bobby opened the door to the garage and shouted at Dean to get into the office. Dean sighed and set his wrench down and followed Bobby as requested.

“Have a seat, Dean,” Bobby requested.

“What’s going on, Bobby?” Dean asked as he sat down.

“Sam texted me, he wanted to see if you’ve been okay at work the past two days,” Bobby said.

Dean was sitting leaned back with his legs and arms crossed. “Did you tell him I’m fine?”

Bobby let out a small chortle in response. “I don’t lie to my sons like that.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’m managing. Two break ups in two months is a lot for a loser like me to handle.”

“If the second one is hurting you, I guess you just gotta undo it,” Bobby said.

“It’s not going to work out, Bobby,” Dean argued. “I had to cut it off now because it’s eight times as bad down the road. Cas was going to get sick of me one day and put me right back here anyways.”

“You don’t know that, Dean.”

“I DO know that, Bobby!”

“And how do you know that?”

“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF ME!” Dean snapped back. He was shaking a little, and he felt tears building up that he wasn’t expecting. Bobby just looked at pity and remorse; Dean’s least favorite things. “I’m a broke thirty-something that wasted his early twenties, invested everything I had into Lisa, and guess what? She finally figured out what I’ve known my whole life. I’m a dumb mechanic with nothing good to offer her or anyone-”

“ENOUGH of that shit!” Bobby rudely interrupted. “If I could roll over there quicker than five seconds, I’d slap you for saying those rude lies about _my son_! But I know your bio daddy smacked you around enough to make you this way to begin with.”

Dean was surprised by Bobby’s outburst and the amount of pain on his surrogate father’s face right now. “Dean, I am _so_ incredibly sorry your piece of shit alcoholic father made life so miserable for you and Sammy. I’m so sorry that he chipped and damaged your sense of self-worth to have you believe the words that are coming out of your mouth right now. I wish I could go back in time and fix it, or tell you to fight back like Sam did. Sam made it out okay because he did everything to spite your father, but that rat bastard really did a number you didn’t he?”

Bobby sniffled and grabbed a tissue to wipe his eyes. Dean had never seen Bobby cry before in his life, despite the number of times Dean cried in front of him. “You are a kind, loving boy who tried to love his father through the pain, hoping he’d finally wake up and return the favor. I really hate the fact that man never did. He was a decent man in our youth, he really was, but I know Mary’s death warped him. I can’t tell you how many wakeless nights I spent resenting your father for mistreating you two kids when Karen and I couldn’t have any. That’s the only reason I stayed around in your father’s life. Every day he left you at our place was a day you were spared from him, and I’d get to watch you two grow up.”

Dean’s mouth was agape. He had never realized how taxing Bobby’s friendship with his father was for him. He never had a grudge against Bobby or had any negative blame against the man whatsoever for their friendship. Hell, he was just happy John had one person who could tolerate him. He was genuinely surprised to hear that wasn’t the case.

“I’m proud of Sam for being a lawyer, but I’m proud as hell for you too, Dean. All you’ve ever done your whole life is be your father’s punching bag to protect Sam from anything and everything, and you survived. And despite his hate and his ignorance, you unapologetically live your life as a proud bisexual man who never cared a damn what anyone thought, and that takes more strength and courage than I could ever dream about. Sammy turned out all successful because of _you_ , Dean. Your mother didn’t get the chance, and it sure as hell wasn’t your fucking father. Don’t you dare think Sam is successful and you’re not, because you are the sole fucking reason he had a chance to be successful to begin with.”

Dean had to turn away from Bobby and hide his eyes in his hands to cry without Bobby seeing. “The Dean Winchester I know didn’t give a damn what anybody thought. He’d deck any fucking bigot in the face if they had the nerve to come after _my son_. What the hell changed?”

Dean took a few additional moments to exhaust the water from his eyes before he even had the composure to try to speak. “I don’t care what irrelevant stranger think, yeah. But the people I cared about? Dad? Lisa? One hundred people can build up your confidence like a house of playing cards, but one person just needs to blow to crush it all down.”

“Sounds like you need stronger materials, stronger foundation,” Bobby said.

Dean let out a surprised chuckle through the tears and tight emotions. “I don’t see how that plays into the metaphor here, Bobby.”

“Your father put every aspect of his own self-esteem and self-worth into your mother, and that’s why he treated you and Sammy like shit. You can’t put everything into Lisa, and you can’t put everything into Castiel. You’ve got me, Karen, Sam, Jess, Ellen, Jo, Charlie. You’ve allowed all of us in. I didn’t know Lisa, and I’m sorry she broke your heart. Castiel might too, yes; and if it happens, it’ll fucking hurt like peroxide on a burn. But you don’t get to make that decision without giving it an honest to god Singer effort. You and Sam haven’t endured and survived everything you’ve been through for you to throw in the towel for being a little self-conscious.”

“We’re so different, though. Like you said, I’ve been through hell. He’s from that rich Novak family,” Dean argued. “He’s going to see I’m not worth much.”

“You have an awfully high opinion of the Novaks for someone who’s been in town three weeks,” Bobby said. “You’re right about some things; most of them are an awful, rotten bunch, but their parents weren’t, and neither is that Castiel. Castiel is an honest to good man through and through. I think he takes after them.”

Dean’s mouth betrayed him and for the slightest of seconds, broke into a weak smile. It was still weighted down by his heavy emotions, but his muscles attempted a smile upon hearing Cas was good.

Cas _was_ good.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Dean said softly.

“It’s not too late yet, but it could be,” Bobby said. “But I do know two things. I know that Castiel is a good man, one of the best in this world, and I highly doubt you’ll find another like him. The second thing I know is that you were incredibly happy with him, and I’ve never seen you that happy in my life. You wasn’t that happy on Sam’s graduation day. You wasn’t that happy on their wedding day. I don’t even think I was that happy on _my_ wedding day!”

Dean let out a laugh at that one. “You’re a liar. You are Karen are the strongest couple I know.”

“Yeah, I know,” he gruffed. “I may have fudged that one slightly to make ya laugh, but who knows? Maybe there’s some truth to it. Karen and I were never wild or exciting in our youth. Passion died a little quick, but we were comfortable and tender. Trying and failing to have children….that really exhausted us emotionally and romantically. To tell you the truth, we maybe didn’t make it.”

“I wasn’t aware how hard you struggled. You’ve only made comments in passing. What got you through it?” Dean asked.

“There were two things,” Bobby explained. “The first was knowing that how miserable we were, and how much we were grieving, we were the only people that made the other feel better. She was all I could think about, and every thought of her made me happy as the day I met her.”

Dean was smiling more now. Something about hearing Bobby and Karen overcome their hardships was motivating. “What was the second thing?”

A faint smile grew on Bobby’s face. “We got what we wanted. We got to raise two wonderful boys. Everything worked out.”

The tears were back on Dean’s face and he got up out of his chair to go up and crash a hug into Bobby, rolling him slightly backwards.

“I love you, Dad,” Dean said. It was the first time he had called Bobby Dad directly to him out loud, despite all the times he thought it in his head.

Bobby emotionally patted Dean on his back in return. “Love you too, son.”

Dean backed away after a few moments and looked out to the garage. The sound of their only car starting and Garth giving them a thumbs up was a good indicator the work was done.

“Go home for the day. I know you did those hours on Saturday, anyways” Bobby said.

“Those were to make up for the _last_ half day, Bobby. I need to set an example,” Dean argued.

“Go home, Dean. Get rest, don’t touch any alcohol, and come back tomorrow a rested man,” Bobby ordered.

Dean nodded in response. “Sure thing, Bobby.” He made his way over to the door, opened it up, and took one step out.

“And Dean?” Bobby interrupted before he was fully gone.

“Yeah, Bobby?”

“Text him, please. Or whatever you kids do these days,” he begged.

Dean let out a small chuckle. “I’ll think about it, Bobby. But I can’t promise anything.”

Bobby nodded as Dean made the rest of the way out of the auto shop and towards his car. He felt renewed, in some way. All the crying let out a lot of negativity within him, but now he felt empty and hollow. The self-hatred and anger was gone, but he didn’t know what to replace any of it with.

He got into his car and he headed home as requested. He made his way inside and came across Jessica in the kitchen who was getting ready for work.

“Dean,” she said with a light surprise. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah,” Dean said softly. “Bobby wanted me to have a half day for…..mental health or something like that.” He was flustered and embarrassed, but he earned a soft smile from Jess.

“Are you feeling any better at all?” The worried tone in his voice was clear, and Dean smiled. Bobby was right, he had all the foundation he needed. He ahd the best sister-in-law in the world.

“A little. I’m going to be ok,” Dean said.

Jess’s smile grew and she stepped forward to hold Dean in a large hug. She was short enough that her head was only to his pecs. She only came to Sam’s chest since he was a giant. He leaned his head down and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Jess,” Dean said. “You know how I’m always saying Sam doesn’t deserve you?”

She chuckled as she continued to hold onto Dean. “I’m familiar. Why?”

“I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. Thank you for putting up with me,” he replied.

“Oh, Dean,” she said as she let go. “You’re the best family a girl can ask for. We just want you to have a good life. You deserve good things.”

Dean sighed with a soft smile. “People keep saying that.”

“Maybe you should listen the first time,” Jess replied.

He nodded and pat her jacketed shoulder lovingly. “Have a good day at work, Jess. I’ll see you tonight if I’m up.”

“Have a good night, Dean,” she said as she left the house. He watched as she left, and smiled. Jessica really _was_ the best. He really had no idea how Sam nabbed her.

He made his way to his room and collapsed in his bed and sighed heavily. He wished he could be more like the man that Bobby, Sam, and Jess saw. He turned his head over to get comfortable when he saw the unopened _Hearts of Iron_ book Cas recommended, still untouched. He hadn’t done any reading since the night at the hospital when he learned the truth. He was drunk all weekend, and yesterday he just went to bed early.

He grabbed the book gently and ran his fingertips along the hardcover. Cas was so happy when he recommended Dean this book. It was a beautiful smile that had Dean hooked. Dean found that he wasn’t hurt by this memory of Cas, like any from the past few days hurt him. It actually made him smile a bit.

He opened the book and began to read Castiel’s favorite story. He read all night until it was time for bed. He took it to work on Wednesday, and Jack gave him a curious look when he saw Dean reading. He wondered if Jack recognized the book because Dean noticed Jack gave a small smile when he glimpsed at it, and then looked at Dean in a respectful manner for the first time of the week.

He read Thursday night, and again on Friday. It was the longest book out of the three Castiel recommended.

Dean was enthralled with every moment. He loved the dark ages; knights, castles, magicians, and this book had all of that. The other books were great, but they hadn’t swept him off his feet like this one.

And the _characters_. He couldn’t help but notice the similarities between him and Castiel. ‘Alamander’ was the rough and tough poor guy who had to be rough, tough, and brawl his whole life. He took risky jobs and whatever it took to get food on the table because his father was a lazy asshole.

‘Ryworth’, whom Alamander had dubbed as ‘Rye’, was a privileged noble child with no freedoms who felt both suffocated by his family and neglected of any actual love or connection. He ran away from home and joined the knight army to prove himself and earn a fresh break and win some independence.

Alamander had tried to get Ryworth to loosen up, be cordial and banter, but Ryworth had never had much opportunity to socialize out of home, and he was raised to be incredibly prim and proper.

They fight on the battlefield together side by side, always looking out for one another, protecting the other’s blind sides.

_“What happens if I fail?” Ryworth asked self consciously. “What if I miscalculate or miss someone, and they hurt you because of my error? It’ll all be my fault. I’ll live the rest of my life knowing it was my fault you died. I don’t know if that is a weight I can bear.”_

_“You’re not going to, Rye,” Alamander contested._

_“You don’t know that. Every soldier thinks they’re going to come out the other side, but we know that’s not the truth,” Ryworth explained._

_“I’d fight in one hundred wars with you by my side, Rye. There’s nowhere I feel more confident than when I’m next to you. Nothing is going to take me away from you, ever. Not some enemy, not some disease, and not Death,” Alamander replied._

_“That folly arrogance is going to be your hubris, Alamander. There’s so many things that can go wrong on the battlefield!”_

_“And I don’t care about a single one. If I got one of you, and ninety-nine guys coming at us, my faith is in you. You’re the best man on this battlefield, Rye. Perhaps even the best man on this planet.”_

The ‘Dean’ character was so certain and so positive nothing would ever go wrong with the character he associated with Cas, and in real life, he was so certain something would go wrong. Alamander was willing to risk it all for the slimmest chance to be with Ryworth, and Dean was too afraid to risk anything.

The week went on and Dean go more and more into his book, thinking about him and Cas constantly and the similarities and differences between them all.

Ryworth got hurt in battle, and Alamander blamed himself. Ryworth worried about failing Alamander, but it was he who ended up getting his love interest hurt.

The army found out who Ryworth was and contacted his noble family, who rushed to retrieved him from the war.

_“It’s what you wanted, Rye,” Alamander said, sitting by his cot in the medical tent. “You wanted to be loved and accepted by your family, and now they’re here for you.”_

_“This isn’t what I wanted, Alamander. Things will be the same as they were. It might be good for a while, but we’ll fall into the same routines. They’ll tire of me, and we’ll all be left unhappy.”_

_Alamander shook his head, holding back the tears in his eyes. “If you stay with me, you’re going to get hurt. I’d rather lose you this way then out there. If I let you go now, I know you’re going to be okay. But if I make the selfish decision to keep you, I can’t promise I won’t fail again.”_

_“You were the one who said it was me and you against ninety-nine soldiers, and you had faith in us.”_

_“I said I had faith in you. You were, are, a better man than I am. I’m a nobody, Rye,” Alamander replied._

_“Please don’t leave me, Alamander,” Ryworth cried, tears pouring from his eyes. He was bedridden on the cot. If Alamander walked out right now, he couldn’t chase him down._

_Alamander stood up and leaned forward, and kissed Ryworth for the first time after all of their hints and feelings slowly building to this point. Ryworth returned it, and it was the most magical feeling he had experienced. Alamander pulled away, and Ryworth tried to follow, but Alamander had stood up, too far for Ryworth to return._

_“Alamander, please,” Rye begged._

_Alamander let out a regretful sigh, the look of intense remorse on his face let him know the worst was coming._

_“Goodbye, Ryworth,” Alamander said, the first time using his full name in the months they had known each other._

Alamander walked out on his only shot at happiness, just as Dean had. But he hadn’t done it to protect Cas, he did it to protect himself. He wasn’t as selfless like that.

As the book drew near the end, Alamander survived the war. It was miserable, he did it alone, and there wasn’t anything much better waiting for him on the other side. All of his hard work and doing everything by himself yielded no reward.

He hadn’t seen or heard from Ryworth in years until he got an invitation for a wedding; Ryworth’s wedding to a woman. He remembered Rye talking about how he had certain duties to his family, certain obligations that needed to be fulfilled by him. Alamander was his once chance at breaking free from them, because it wasn’t as easy to leave his family than one could expect.

Alamander built up the courage to do what needed to be done. He wondered if Alamander would reject him after the pain he caused, after being gone for so long, or if maybe he just wasn’t good enough for Ryworth’s refined tastes, but he refused to wallow in pity and be by himself anymore. If he failed, he’d be exactly where he was now, but if he succeeded, he knew deep down that both of their lives would be infinitely better with each other in it.

_“If there is anyone who may object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the minister stated._

_The doors to the chapel burst open and in came Alamander, dressed in his finest attire, riding on a white steed. “I object!” he boasted proudly._

_“Alamander!?” Ryworth asked with a flabbergasted astonishment spread on his face._

_Alamander hopped down from his horse and looked to his lover and his side of the family who all displayed different emotions; shock, anger, amusement._

_“I don’t care who your family is. I don’t care about what you think you may owe them. Your whole life, you have been indentured to them, and the only thing you’ve ever gotten o do for yourself was run away to the army and fall in love with a man who was too insecure and thought he wasn’t good enough for you._

_Well Rye, that man is standing here in front of you. And I know three years may have past for you, but they haven’t for me. There was neither a day nor hour of my waking moments where I wasn’t thinking of you, and missing you, or thinking about our kiss.”_

_The crowd in the alter let out more surprised gasps and hushed whispers at the scandal unravelling before their eyes._

_“The biggest mistake I made was walking out on you, and I know that however much I apologize, I most likely can never make up for that. But if you’ll have me, I promise I can spend every day by your side trying._

_Your family did one thing right, Rye. They made the most amazing man I have ever met in my life. You are too much of an angel for them, and I am still sure with every fiber of my being that you are still too good for me as well; but if you’re willing to have me, I’d be the luckiest and most blessed man in this kingdom.”_

_He made his way to the altar and dropped down on one knee. The ring he pulled out was he simplest of metals. It was nothing like what these noble family exchanged with each other. There was no jewel, and there wasn’t much shimmer, no matter how much Alamander tried to buff it out and polish it, but he hoped it was enough. He hoped he was enough. “Ryworth, will you marry me?”_

_Ryworth’s eyes were full of tears, much like the last day Alamander had seen him in the medical tent, but these were different; these tears were full of love and joy, and not fear like they had previously been._

_“Yes, Alamander, I will marry you,” Ryworth said. He reached out a hand to pull Alamander up and bring him in for a kiss in front of his family, and now his ex-fiancee’s family. While many were in shock and were beginning to outrage they definitely caught some applause within their audience._

_“I have something to announce as well!” Magaria, the bride-to-be announced. “I’m in love with my handmaiden, Yanelee!”_

_The handmaiden off to the side in question also let out a surprised gasp, but one that quickly grew into a warm smile as the bride rushed her way to her to swoop in for a romantic kiss as well._

_Alamander laughed at the irony, watching the second lovely couple of the evening have their moment before he turned back to Ryworth. “Ryeworth, you turned an angry, bitter man with a blackened heart into one with a positive outlook on life. You taught me how to love. I don’t believe my heart is as gold as yours, but perhaps you gave me a heart of steel. I never would have had the courage to survive the war, or come profess my love to you if you didn’t motivate me to be brave.”_

_“I’m not brave,” Ryworth contested._

_“Yes you are,” Alamander countered. “You had the strength to break free from your family, and you’re doing it again now. You just risked your whole future just to say yes to me.”_

_“It’s not a risk,” Ryworth corrected. “We were meant to be together, Alamander. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you.”_

_Alamander smiled coyly and leaned in for another kiss with Ryworth before turning to the very confused, disoriented priest. “Excuse me, sir. How about you count those as vows and we can skip to the fun part?_

_The priest cleared his throat and reopened his tome. “Very well. Do you, Ryworth-”_

_“I do,” Ryworth interrupted._

_“Take-uh, ok, very well. Do you, Ala…mander, was it?”_

_“I do as well,” he replied with a confident smile._

_“Well, alright,” the priest said defeatedly. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom.”_

Dean closed the book after reading their kiss and the small epilogue about them starting a life together on a farm outside the city. He chuckled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. There were just too many parallels that he just couldn’t ignore.

The book was right. Everything was better with Castiel. He knew he fell for the man hard and fast, but maybe it was just proof as to how well they’d be together. He was sure there’d be issues, but he was willing to work on the ones he had with Lisa, and he was willing to work on whatever came his and Cas’s way.

He wanted to call the man right this instant and sighed, it was eleven-thirty at night on the 23rd. Christmas Eve and the festival was tomorrow. Cas would _have_ to be at the festival. If Dean told him he was coming, he maybe wouldn’t show; but if he kept it to himself, he could surprise Castiel.

He didn’t have much of a plan, but Alamander didn’t have much of a plan when he stormed the chapel to profess his love for Ryworth, so everything was going to be okay.

Dean just needed to have confidence.


	11. The Christmas Eve Festival

It was finally Christmas Eve, the day the town had been waiting for. The MacLeod festival would start when the sun went down, and everyone would get to enjoy all of the lights and food stalls.

Dean just needed to kill time and distract himself from writhing with anxiety all day. He just wanted to shoot his shot, get it over with, and have the cards fall where they may.

“What’s gotten into you the past week? I have to be honest, I’m very worried about your drastic mood swings,” Sam said.

Dean took a deep breath and gestured to the couch. “Okay, a have a seat, have a seat,” he insisted. Jess and Sam took their seats and looked at him with expectation and confusion.

“I had a good talk with Bobby,” Dean said. “I can’t be afraid to live my life. I’m going to tell Cas I love him at the festival tonight.”

Jess squealed with excitement and jumped up from the couch to rush to Dean and give him a large hug. Dean laughed and smiled widely as he returned the hug and patted her on the back. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you, Jess, I appreciate it,” Dean said.

“Are you sure about this, Dean? You’ve been very back and forth, and you haven’t exactly known him long. ‘Love’ is a strong word,” Sam replied.

“Yes, Sam. I’ve had infatuations, lusts of passion, but what I feel with Cas is beyond all of that. And even if I’m wrong, I just- I can’t throw in the towel. Whatever happens, happens, but I refuse to let us fail because I was too afraid to do anything about it,” Dean explained.

Sam nodded gently and have him a soft smile. “Well, I’m proud of you, Dean.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Dean said.

Jess still looked so happy for Dean and she trotted her way to the kitchen. “Well, we have some time to kill until the festival, sooo…..” she held up a bottle of champagne from the counter. “Mimosas and Christmas movies?”

“Oh hell yes,” Dean enthusiastically agreed.

The three of them had some drinks, laughs, and feel good movie times as a family while they waited for the sun to go down, which would commence the start of the festival.

Sam drove them as close to downtown as he could. The festival was being held in the heart of town on Main Street Square, and a few of the immediate streets.

Dean was in awe at how the town transformed overnight. He had seen lights and stands slowly being erected over the past few days, but the finished products were amazing. There were dozens of fully decorated Christmas trees all long the square. Every lamp post was decked with garland, lights, and the most ornate red ribbons.

Every booth was connected by a zigzagging canopy of string lights, and there was a walking path with hundreds of arches which were also decorated with garland and lighting.

“Oh my god,” Dean said as he took in the whole sight. “How on earth is this possible?”

“With Rowena’s money and the right Christmas spirit, anything is possible,” Sam said humorously.

“Come on, let’s have some cocoa!” Jess suggested.

She led the way to one of the three cocoa stands they had spread around the square to keep lines from being too long. “This is the best hot cocoa, Dean. They use the real melted chocolate, not the powdery stuff.”

Dean let out an amused chuckle. “I didn’t even think you could make it that way.”

“Well, you’re in luck!” she said.

They got to the front of the line and the booth employee greeted them cheerfully. “Hot chocolates everybody?”

“Yes, please,” Jessica said.

“Do you want it virgin or with either chocolate liqueur or caramel liqueur?” the woman asked

Dean had a real excited look on his face. “Caramel, please!”

“Same for me,” Jess agreed.

“One virgin, please,” Sam said. Before Dean could make a comment, Sam turned to him with a glare. “Remember, you live in my house.”

Dean closed his mouth and gave an agreeing nod. “That’s fair.”

“Here you go, dearies,” the older woman said.

They took the drinks and gave the lady the money for the drinks and they stepped over to the side to get out of the way. “Come on, try it!” Jess urged. “Drink, drink, drink!”

“Okay, okay!” Dean said as he brought the cup up to his lips, giving it a soft blow before he poured the hot, spiked liquid into his mouth. As the creamy, silky chocolate liquid passed his tastebuds, he let out a surprised moan from the amazing flavors (and slight burn), but it was the most delicious drink he had ever had in his life. A warm hot alcoholic chocolate was much better than an ice cold bear on a hot day. “This is seriously amazing. I need more of these.”

Jess laughed at him and Sam just shook his head as he took a sip of his own. “You can’t get carried away, remember?” Jess asked. “You are a man on a mission! I have an idea, though! I can’t promise anything, but come on!”

Dean gave her a confused look and she eagerly took him to a booth a few yards away from their last one, leaving many behind in their wake. “We’re missing so much! Let me look around!”

“You can look around alter! This one’s important!” Jessica exclaimed. They made their way to a small booth that said “Missouri’s Florals”. The elderly woman perked up when the three of them approached.

“Merry Christmas, Winchesters!” Missouri greeted. “Either you two had a gorgeous baby with one hell of a growth spurt, or this must be your brother.”

Dean chuckled and held out his hand. “Dean Winchester, a pleasure to meet you.”

She giggled as she shook his hand. “You’re quite the charmer. A you buttering me up for one of my bouquets?”

“I, uh,” Dean stuttered. “I don’t know. Jess pulled me here. But a bouquet sounds like something I could use.”

Missouri continued to laugh lightly with delight. “They must not have given you the spiel, honey. I am not only the town florist, but a psychic, too. Each Christmas, I make three one-of-a-kind bouquets, but I just can’t give them out to just anybody, oh no. Only the three purest couples of the night can get one of my bouquets. So, seeing as these two are already chummy, why don’t you go ahead and tell me who his bouquet could be for, and I’ll determine if you’re worthy.”

Dean sighed heavily. Another stranger sizing him up and judging him. He didn’t feel like he was worthy of much.

“If I’m being honest, Missouri, I don’t know if you’ll like what you see. You see, the man I love is Castiel Novak. A little over a month ago, I was engaged to someone else completely. I really thought she was the one. But we had problems that she didn’t want to fix, and I didn’t have the chance to. Although, maybe I did, and missed them. It’s possible. But honestly? I’m kind of glad she did, because I got to meet Cas. The first time I saw him, I was just…..I was floored. I tried to resist him, I really did. I thought I needed time to work on myself, and I wanted to give myself that time.

But….uhhh....he was the only thing I could think about. He saw _through_ me, like nobody had. He didn’t see me as a failure who didn’t go to college, or a loser who got dumped a few months before his wedding. He made me feel like I didn’t _have_ to be better, because for the first time, I was good enough already.”

He sighed again as Missouri looked at him, listening to every word. Her face was unreadable, though. He wasn’t sure if he was persuading her one way or another. “Honestly, Missouri, I fucked up bad. Sorry, if you don’t like swearing, I’m sorry, but ….I really did. I didn’t know he was one of the Novaks and I got incredibly self conscious. Cas is just the most amazing man, and I didn’t feel like I deserved him to begin with, and then bam! That bombshell just… _terrified_ me. I didn’t want to be hurt again, and I reacted selfishly.

And Missouri, I really don’t know even know if he’ll say yes to me, even with you gorgeous bouquets. God, I really hope he does, but…..I made my mistakes, and I’ll have to live with them, but I can’t have him not knowing how I feel anymore. And I know my explanation seemed one sided, but I think, or at least I’m _hoping_ I make him happy too. I think I did once, and I’d do anything to make him happy again if I can.”

Missouri looked at Dean and smiled. “It takes a good man to admit where he’s failed and acknowledge his shortcomings, and fight to make things better and work at the issues at hand. I think you’re a good man, Dean.”

Dean smiled widely, surprised Missouri wasn’t taken aback by his shortcomings. “So, does this mean I can get a bouquet to try to impress Cas?”

“I don’t know about that,” Missouri said flatly, surprising Dean. She had just made it seem like his cause was just and she was on his side. Her eyes shifted slightly behind Dean. “Does he need one of my bouquets, Castiel?”

Fear struck inside of him and he felt his heart plunge down to his feet. He turned around quickly to see Cas, standing there with watery eyes and a surprised expression. Jessica was covering her mouth with anxiousness and Sam looked like he was a mix of worried and amused. Clearly, they had known Castiel was behind him for quite a while.

“Cas,” Dean said softly. His heart must have returned to his chest because he definitely felt it pounding. It was one thing for him to build up the courage all day long to profess his love, but now he was caught off guard; he felt like his foundation shifted underneath him. This is not what he had planned. “How much of that did you hear?”

Cas gave a contemplative look. “I’m pretty sure I heard all of it. I saw Jessica rushing you to the booth at a distance, and….I gave in to morbid curiosity because……I was hoping maybe you had a change of heart.”

Dean gave a relieved sigh and a chuckle. Cas was still interested. “I suppose that saves me from saying it all a second time.” He took a few steps closer to Cas and cautiously grabbed one of Cas’s hands. The man didn’t pull back, which was another good sign, and he let Dean look deeply into his eyes. The space between them was minimal, intimate; he could hear the nervousness in Cas’s breathing as if it were the crystal-sharp audio system of the fancy cinema back in Denver.

“I meant every word, Cas. I’m so sorry I was too terrified and insecure with myself to give us a chance. You have a golden heart, and my blackened one didn’t think I was good enough for you, despite you never doing anything to indicate you’d ever hurt me,” Dean explained.

Cas’s smile grew widely, immediately recognizing the reference being described to him. “You read that, even though we broke up?”

Dean confirmed Cas’s suspicion with a nod. “I did. I was missing you so bad, Cas, and when I read it, I felt like you were there with me- and then I knew that I needed the real you with me too.”

Cas continued to smile and he lightly licked his lips, which drew in Dean’s attention. “In that case, Dean; what is it that you’re asking of me?”

His eyes looked at him with a playful expression, as if he was being challenged or tested. Dean let out a nervous, entertained scoff at librarian who was choosing now of all times to play with his emotions. “I’m asking you if you feel the same; if you’ll go out with me again, take me back.”

Cas’s eyebrow raised up with intrigue. “You’re not afraid of anything that might go wrong?”

“I’d fight in one hundred wars with you by my side, Castiel Novak. There’s nowhere I feel more confident than when I’m next to you. Nothing is going to take me away from you, ever,” Dean stated.

Cas laughed heartily at the reference, leaning his head forward into Dean’s chest to hold himself before he was able to look back up, visibly attempting to hold his large grin slightly back so he could at least try to pretend to have a serious conversation with his lover. “That folly arrogance is going to be your hubris, Dean Winchester.”

“I don’t care,” Dean replied with a coy smile. “Just kiss me already, damnit.”

Cas complied and leaned in, closing the distance to bring their mouths together. He brought his hand to Dean’s jaw as they kissed deeply, and Dean relished under his touch.

Jess cheered loudly, obnoxiously so, reminding Dean that he was making out with his sexy librarian boyfriend right in front of his brother, his sister-in-law, and a florist he’s known for seven minutes, tops.

Dean pulled apart with a smile and turned to his family. Sam was looking away with an embarrassed expression while Jess just beamed with pride and happiness. “You’re killing the mood, Jess.”

“I beg to differ, Mr. Winchester,” Missouri added. “I haven’t seen sparks like that sine our Fourth of July celebration in ’02. You’ve definitely earned a bouquet for that one.”

She took out a floral arrangement that looked elaborately decorated. The entire bouquet was made of gold and white roses. The white petals, and al stems and leaves, were lightly dusted with golden glitter. Among the white and gold roses was one green glass rose and one blue glass rose.

Dean took the bouquet from her and turned to look deep into Cas’s crystal-like blue eyes, and he remembered that his were green, sort of like the rose. Dean smiled and turned back to Missouri. “Quite a coincidence with the glass flowers, Missouri.”

Missouri gave a coy smile to Dean. “Coincidence implies I didn’t know this was going to happen.” She tapped the side of her head lightly, and Dean remembered her comment about allegedly being a psychic. He smiled at her and shrugged it off, opting to turn back to Castiel.

It had to be a coincidence, right? There was no way of her possibly knowing any of this. Although, if she _was_ psychic, she wouldn’t have done all this work if him and Castiel weren’t meant to be. Maybe he would lean into that reasoning.

He handed the bouquet to Cas, who took them appreciatively. “Thank you, Dean,” Cas said with a smile. “They’re truly beautiful.”

“Thank _you,_ Cas, for giving me another chance,” Dean said.

“Don’t waste it,” he said playfully. The sentence didn’t scare Dean in the slightest, because he was confident there wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to let anything happen to them, now that he had a heart of iron and all.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean confirmed. He turned back to Sam and Jess who were patiently waiting through all of this cheesy crap. “Are we double dating it from here or should we split up?

“Double-date!”

“Split up.”

Dean laughed delightedly as he watched his brother and wife’s give each other pleading glances; Jess’s was pleading for unity and Sam’s eyes were pleading for a break.

“As lovely as a double date sounds-,” Cas interrupted. “I would prefer some alone time with you.”

“Thank god,” Sam said to himself.

Dean smirked confidently as he wrapped his fingers into Cas’s and leaned in low to his space. “Don’t tell me you want us to stuff stockings in front of all these people,” he said playfully and quietly into Cas’s ear.

Cas chuckled, while also grimacing his face from Dean’s antics. “No-o!” He relaxed his face and was able to look at Dean sincerely once more, though still smiling from Dean’s dirty entendre. “I just missed you.”

“I missed you too, Cas,” Dean replied. He turned to his family and gave them the peace sign with his fingers. “I’ll catch up with you losers later!”

Jess was more entertained than Sam was with his comments. “Have fun!”

The two of them headed out on their own, looking at all of the booths and shops. They tried the desserts together- _together_ together. Dean thought it would be cute if they both tried to take bites from opposite ends of an eggnog cupcake at the same time; their lips lightly brushing each other’s as they attempted. Cas got little bit of frosting on his nose and Dean wiped it off for him, thinking about how bashfully adorable Cas was when he was embarrassed.

He felt a hand grasp on his shoulder and shake him gently, and he turned to see a man he had never met attached to him and Cas before a more familiar red head stepped into view. “Ayyyy, Cassie! Looks like You got some new man meat to replace that last idiot who let you go! Good job!”

“GABRIEL,” Cas replied sternly. Anna laughed and Gabriel let go, leaving Dean in a conflicted mood as to whether this man was playing a joke or was looking to get decked.

“I’m just playing! I know this is Dean-o! I do have to congratulate you on coming back to your senses, buddy. I’m his favorite brother, Gabriel.” The prankster held out his hand and Dean shook it questioningly, still unsure what to make of the man.

“Does this mean your family won’t hate me too much, hopefully? All is forgiven?” Dean asked hesitantly.

“Oh, not all forgiven, but I’m willing to let it slide _this time_ ,” Gabriel warned. “Michael and the older siblings will either never like you, or be completely indifferent, but Anna and I are the important ones.”

“And Jack,” Cas added.

“ _And Jack_ ,” Gabriel impersonated, making Cas’s voice drastically lower than what was realistic.

He turned to see Rowena MacLeod smiling at them proudly a few meters away. Her smile was knowing, and confident. “Let me step away for just a moment while you all catch up,” Dean said.

Cas nodded and he headed to Rowena, who was expecting him.

“Good evening, Dean. Are you enjoying your first Angel City Christmas Festival?” she asked.

“I am, thank you for asking. The hot cocoa is magical,” Dean replied.

“I agree,” she added. “And speaking of _magical_ , I see you and Castiel Novak are looking very romantic. Do you believe me now when I said people fall in love at this festival?”

Dean let out a contemplative hum as he acted as if he was thinking about it. “Not sold completely, Rowena.”

“Oh? And why not?” Her tone was entertained and curious, and Dean gave her a smirk.

“I was already in love with Castiel weeks ago,” Dean said. “I don’t think that counts.”

Rowena looked like she was about to say something when something behind Dean grabbed her attention. He heard crunching snow under fast foot steps and he felt himself being grabbed again. His body was turned to see Charlie.

“Charlie?” Dean asked in confusion.

“Dean!” She greeted enthusiastically. She was excited, and out of breath, and perhaps a little unhinged at the moment. “You will _never_ believe what just happened! I was just walking around and I bumped into this very cute girl I had never seen before. She complimented my gay pride pins and like, _hello¸_ that’s _obviously_ a sign. So we were talking and walking together and we got cocoa together and I got her number and-”

Dean saw Rowena pull away in his peripheral vision and he turned while Charlie was on her tangent. Rowena smirked with a proud, victorious look before turning away from him and continue walking. Dean brought his attention back to Charlie before she noticed he spaced out.

“-she already agreed to go to go with me to the Biodiversity Institute and Natural History Museum!”

“I’m very excited for you, Charlie. I can’t wait it hear more about her,” Dean said.

“Thank you!” She said cheerfully before moving to something more solemn. “I, uh, heard about you and Cas. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to worry about that anymore,” he said as he gestured over to where Cas and his siblings stood.

Charlie turned to see Cas and the Novaks standing just a few meters away. Cas was looking their way with a smile.

“Hey Lover Boy!” Gabriel shouted. “Come get back to your man! People are giving my brother lusty eyes because they think he’s available! You know how much of a tasty snack he is!”

“GABRIEL!” Cas shouted again, earning Dean a laugh.

“Catch up with you later,” he said to Charlie as he jogged over, wrapping his arms around Cas. “What’s this about people trying to take you from me after I just got you back?”

Cas chuckled as he felt Dean’s lips kiss his cheek. “I think the only competition you have is Old Lady Margaret who always rents out the most sensual romantic novels and tries to talk to me about needing a strapping man to woo her.”

“Steamy novels you say?” Dean asked. “Uh-oh, maybe she knows some tricks that I don’t.”

“O-kay,” Anna said awkwardly, diverting her attention away from Dean sexually propositioning her brother. “I will let you both catch up. Gabriel, feel free to leave me alone too.”

“Adios, bros,” Gabriel said. “Don’t get caught doing guy on guy in the public.”

Castiel chuckled as his two siblings left to give them some space on their own. “You’re very good at repelling my family members. Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”

Dean chuckled as Cas repositioned himself so they were facing each other, while still in his arms. “I’m more than happy to scare off your wealthy, possibly pretentious and elitist family _after_ I make an honest attempt first to get to know them, when the time comes.”

“That is very mature, I would appreciate that. They’re going to be awful regardless, but I appreciate it,” Cas explained, earning another chuckle from Dean.

“I don’t care. Whatever you go through, I go through. We’re in this together now.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said as he leaned forward to kiss Dean deeply and tenderly. It was safe to say that this was, by far, Dean’s favorite Christmas.


	12. The Epilogue

It was Christmas Morning, 2021. Castiel and Dean had decided to set Christmas Eve as their official anniversary, which they celebrated last night at another annual winter festival.

Of course, this sparked their first debate on how they would distinguish anniversary presents separate from Christmas presents, which they still have not come to an agreement, but there was no rush for now; Dean was positive they would have plenty more.

Work at the auto shop was going really well. Dean was diligently saving large portions of his paychecks to rebuild his savings account; although now that he had Castiel, he didn’t really think he’d be leaving Angel City anymore. He looked around Bobby and Karen’s living room which was currently featuring himself, Sam, Jess, and Cas. He had everything he needed right here in this room.

Bobby unwrapped two wooden beer mugs that were made out of a baseball bat. The mugs had the Kansas City Royals logo pyrographed into the wood. “Oh wow, you guys! This is pretty cool!”

“Glad you like it, Bobby,” Sam said.

“You know I’ve been trying to get him to drink less!” Karen said, but there wasn’t actually any hostility in her voice.

“I can still drink less, I can just use these mugs now,” Bobby argued. Karen smiled and gave him a small peck.

“Alright, Castiel, you’re next,” Karen insisted. “Who’s it from?”

“This one appears to be from Dean,” he said cheerfully, giving his boyfriend an excited look. He wasn’t one of the guys that tediously unpeeled the paper to save it, much to Dean’s relief (he _was_ slightly worried his boyfriend was secretly one of _those_ people), but he didn’t rip through it like a hasty savage. The paper revealed a long white box where the bottom slid out. His smile grew large as the halves were separated and the contents were revealed. Everyone could see the affection, but not the gift itself.

“What is it?” Jess asked excitedly.

“It’s a bee tie,” he said happily as he showed the room. “Bees are my favorite animals. I’m working on a proposal to add beehives to the community garden by this summer, and then the town can have fresh organic artisan honey as a souvenir.”

Dean just smiled so proudly at his boyfriend as he talked about his initiative. He was subjected to two bee documentaries, which weren’t actually so bad as well as a whole week where Cas gave him a running live synopsis of bee facts when he read a new academic manual about beekeeping came out. And even if Dean didn’t always understand, he always loved watching Cas get excited or talk about the subjects he was interested in because his eyes would light up and he’d get a very particular smile that he maintained throughout all his sentences. Castiel was beautiful, inside and out.

“I think that’s super cute, and I will definitely show up to town hall to vote yes whenever that’s going to be,” Jess said,

“Thank you, Jess,” Cas replied. “And thank you Dean as well.” He leaned over and kissed Dean appreciatively. It was less than two seconds long, given that they were in front of family, but something about Christmas morning kisses with Castiel made the day that more magical.

“Okay,” Bobby said as he reached beside him to grab another present. “This one is for Dean. It’s from both me and Sam. Karen carefully passed it to Castiel, who carefully handed it to Dean.

Dean had been deducing presents sleuthily for over two decades now, and he had to say he was fairly good at it. Based on the wrapping, two similar items were stacked on top of each other. He heard the sound of metal or glass rubbing against each other and the items shifting separately as the present was moved.

When the present got to his hands, he could tell the item was hard, and there was no cushion of any kind. He gave the presents a discrete tap with his thumbs before moving them to the sides. These were picture frames, he thought.

He unwrapped the contents and sure enough, the top picture frame was a picture of the auto-shop. It was a cute picture, a nice keepsake, but nobody was in it, which was confusing for a sentimental gift.

He lifted up the first frame and saw a second, which was a framed notice that advised Sam was pre-approved for a large amount of student loans. “I’m sorry, but I’m not following.”

He looked up with a confused expression at everyone on the couch. Bobby was neutral, and Sam looked like he was sitting on a secret. Karen and Jess seemed to have pleased smiles, though.

“I plan on retiring soon, Dean,” Bobby said. “Ideally within the next two to three years. When that day comes, I want you to take over for me.”

“I-what?” Dean asked with confusion.

“The second thing is from me. You dropped out of school so you could work hard to pay the bills so I could finish high school, and I know you loved school and always wanted to go to college. I’ll return the favor. I’ll co-sign and pay whatever is left over if you want,” Sam said.

“A few business classes could really help you out. You don’t need them, of course, I’m going to let you have the place anyways; but Sammy said it was always something you wanted to do,” Bobby said.

Dean just sat in awe and looked at the two picture frames in his hands as he processed everything. Bobby wanted him to own the shop? Sam was maybe going to help him pay his way through school?

He hadn’t had much time to think about the future. He just saw himself being a mechanic for life, living in the moment. The most planning he did was for the wedding with Lisa, but even then, it was just “fix cars, and grow old”.

He hadn’t even thought about moving our yet because hew as still about $1200 short of the amount he was aiming for. _That_ had been his only focus or goal.

“I….am….I don’t know what to say,” Dean said.

“It’s a big commitment, so you don’t need to make a decision now, but we’d like you to seriously think about it,” Sam said.

“I would prefer not to sell my business to someone who will just tear it down,” Bobby said. “It may be a humble life, but it’s yours if you want it.”

A humble life? He turned to look at Castiel who was looking at him, smiling. He seemed excited for Dean, but Dean knew Cas would let Dean choose whatever he wanted without pressuring him.

School would be hard; but if he got to come home to Cas every day and he got to do his homework at a kitchen table and take the occasional look up to see Cas sitting on his living room couch curled up with a coffee, blanket, and a book then…then he could definitely see himself going back to school.

“I think that might sound like a good idea,” Dean said. “Let me give it some thought and I could maybe start next fall.”

“There’s no pressure, and no rush,” Sam assured.

Dean turned to Castiel and gave him a look. “What do you think, Castiel?”

Castiel looked around nervously and blushed. “I…uh….”. Dean raised an eyebrow curiously as to why Castiel was so nervous. He knew his boyfriend well enough to know he wouldn’t be anything less than one-hundred-percent supportive, so he was very curious to see where this was going. “If you’re juggling work and school, that may cut a lot into our time together, so maybe……maybe you’d like to move in…..before you start?”

Dean’s smile grew wide as did Jess’s because she was overly obsessed with her brother-in-law’s gay relationship. “You don’t…have to…and even if you were open to the idea, it wouldn’t need to be soon at all in any way, but you’re over very frequently already and-”

Dean leaned over to stop Castiel’s ranting with a deep kiss before breaking off. “Cas, I would love to move in with you.”

“That’s…that’s good,” he said bashfully.

“Awww,” Karen cheerfully . “This has just been the most adorable and exciting Christmas in years. I am going to bust out the Christmas Mimosas early. I don’t care if it’s before noon.” She made her way over to the kitchen and popped the champagne bottle. “Dean, Cas, do y’all want mimosas?”

“Yes, please,” Dean said.

“I would love one, thank you, Karen,” Cas said politely.

“Sam? Jess?” Karen asked.

Sam and Jess turned to each other and exchanged a look Dean couldn’t _quite_ deduce. “I’ll take one,” Sam said.

“Just the juice for me, please,” Jess said.

A lightbulb clicked in Dean’s head as to what that look was for. Sam had the worst poker face and Jess looked like she was hiding a laugh. “Come on, Jess,” Dean encouraged playfully. “You’re always my holiday drinking buddy and Sam’s the sober one. What gives?”

Jess looked over at Sam nervously and Sam just gently shook his head. Dean’s smile grew wide as Jess turned slightly red. “We are having a baby!”

Karen started emitting a happy, crying squeal as she rushed over, sans drinks to hug the happy couple. Bobby looked partially emotional, but was pretty sound. “Congratulations you two. That’s one lucky child you’ll have.”

“Are you excited to be a grandfather, Bobby?” Sam asked.

“Grandfather,” Bobby repeated with a small, growing smile. It was clear he was holding more back but he turned back to Sam with his composure. “I like the sound of that.”

“Guess they will be needing my room back anyways,” Dean quietly said to Castiel.

“I guess,” Cas said with a soft smile.

“Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

“Dean! Cas! Where are my congratulatory hugs!? If you’re going to throw me under the bus like that, the very least you can do is get in on this group hug!” Jess ordered.

“Oh god,” Dean winced as he slowly got up off the ground and made his way to his sister-in-law. “You’re going to be a terribly moody preggo.”

“You’re damn right,” she replied as Dean and Cas approached. It was crowded and sloppy, but it was warm, and the best hug Dean ever had. He looked over at Cas, who had been fully welcomed and integrated into this little family already.

He was so thankful things didn’t work out how he previously planned. He missed his family so much. His past year in Angel City had been the best year of his life, and he was looking forward to dozens more.

**The End**


End file.
